This and That

I forgot my wallet this morning. Technically about 20 minutes ago. I know it is currently in my purse, on my desk. And I can care less. This is one of those mornings. I just don't much care. I have a midterm in a little less then an hour and I think I will do pretty well on it. I have been hearing people complaining about how hard their midterms are and they freak out over it. To me, they are no big deal. I have accepted the fact that they are going to suck. And I'm ok with that. There are so many more things to worry about in my life. It's not worth it for me to freak out over things that are just passing. So that's my thing about midterms.

With that I do admit that I have been slacking off again. My room is messy again due to my weekend project, and I'm a bit behind on my homework. I haven't even been playing games lately. I have mostly been trying to catch up on sleep. I slept well for like two nights. Last night I fell asleep almost immediately. But dreams, they kill me. I agree that dreams are deep rooted in the subconscious, and I guess that's my problem. It's not something I can just will away, because I know I don't want to. At first I was frustrated that I can't get what I want, now I'm frustrated that I can't just stop myself from wanting it. I guess I will be this way for a while. It is not my nature to just let go. I also know the pain of hanging on. I know if I get what I want now it will lead me back to that place again. I don't want him to experience the intense pain I have gone through on my account.

I watched "Sex, Lies,and Videotape" the other night. I'm wondering if I am starting to structure my life like Graham. Probably not on purpose. Good movie nonetheless.

I was semi-athletic yesterday. I spent part of my day by the pool, caught some sun, and I went bowling. The whole poolside thing was nice. I managed to get a couple of laps in before the ducks decided the pool belonged to them. It was nice to just lay out in the sun. Bask and read I say. I have been in a much better mood lately due to all the sun. I even got myself a new bathing suit yesterday. Now I just need to tone and really fit in it. It really isn't that hard to do when I put my mind into it.

Walk Away

Oh no
Here comes that sun again
That means another day
Without you my friend

And it hurts me
To look into the mirror at myself
And it hurts even more
To have to be with somebody else
And it’s so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away

With so many people
To love in my life
Why do I worry
About one

But you put the happy
In my ness
You put the good times
Into my fun
And it’s so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away
And head for the door

We’ve tried the goodbye
So many days
We walk in the same direction
So that we could never stray
They say if you love somebody
Than you have got to set them free
But I would rather be locked to you
Than live in this pain and misery

They say time will
Make all this go away
But it’s time that has taken my tomorrows
And turned them into yesterdays
And once again that rising sun
Is dropping on down
And once again you my friend
Are nowhere to be found
And it’s so hard to do
And so easy to say
But sometimes
Sometimes you just have to walk away
Walk away
And head for the door
You just walk away
Walk away

-- Ben Harper -- Welcome To The Cruel World

Sun

Yes yes I know it was getting cooler today, but it was just too nice for me to pass up. After running some errands I decided to spend my late afternoon pool side. It was nice... swam a few laps, did some homework, music, rootbeer. I needed it.

hump day ramble

I looked at my blog this morning and was a little sad. It looked so short. Then I realize what it was... I fnally spent some time last night to update the playlist, and that was hella long. Yeah, you can tell a lot about me by just looking at that side bar. I'm thinking about putting up movie ratings on there too. But the majority of movies on there I liked. So yeah.....

I ramble a lot when I'm bored. I guess I'm extra boring when I don't have any major conflicts in my life. That or when all that can be said about it is already said. I think I'm in that sort of a dead zone right now. I want to say more, but there isn't as much in my life to talk about, tre boring.

The weather is really nice today, I'm hoping to spend part of that pool side, and preferrably not alone. I will see some sun today somehow... Like right now, chilling in the shades. It's so nice. If i didn't have class I would be out tanning right now. It's good to finally fit into my swimsuit, and nicely at that. Ha!

I never really consider myself a morning person, but today is just too damn nice. I can get used to this. Believe it or not I actually lost a couple of pounds this week. I honestly don't know how it happened, but I'm right back where I was. It's time to really draft up that exercise and dietary program. It'll be good once I have a plan. I'm actually optimistic about this too because I actually have been getting things taken care of. and that's unheard of...

Night

So last night was a tad bit weird. As are many of my nights. As I said to a friend, "i'm bored, don't feel like studying, don't wanna clean, don't want to get up, not wanting to get sucked into a game, and the only copy of movie i have in my arms reach is sex, lies, and videotape". So that's what I did, I cleared my bed, and ended up watching that movie. I liked it. I'm also kinda tired right now. I do have that accounting test in 2 hours. Guess I'm not too worried about it. I almost forgot it's wednesday. Bowling... yay! ^_^

Wow I guess I have been pretty busy.

Oh yeah I did finish a bulk of the work on that PC, I just need to finish transferring back the files and sort the stuff. Plus a few more installationsion and what not, then I'll be done. I think I did pretty good ^_^

Success!

Took me a little while, but I finally set the jumpers correctly on my parent's new rig. Yay! The hard drive is currently being formatted, and the OS will be loaded tonight. The the fun part will be drivers.... ^_^

Bug Bite!

I sware it's not possible for a bug to get over there and bite me. Seriously! wtf....

Anyway.

I had another one of those dreams last night. It's interesting because it's a pretty nice dream. Nothing explicit, just being close to him. I woke up at 3:30 this morning with a bit of a smile on my face. The significance of this is that I'm not angry about it anymore. It's not frustrating. It's just nice. I still feel, and I still hope. Maybe I'm finally turning more human.