off

I'm really off today. My alarm didn't go off this morning. Woke up 10 min before I had to be on the road to be in class on time. Didn't do well on a couple of quizes. I had this sense of dread all day. I have this vision of my driving, struck head on by a truck, and everything goes black. I can't explain it. I also feel cheated. I do everything in my power to make people happy. Who is there to do it for me? Why in hell do I bother.

time of day

This guy I know once told me if a someboy doesn't talk/msg/txt me all by himself then he's not worth the time of day. I wonder how long will it take for him to realize I've been pretty quiet for a while.

pesto

I have this sudden urge to make fresh pesto. I realize it's a whole lot easier for me to make it now that I have that little food processor. That and my prof is eating some angel hair tossed with fresh pesto and cherry tomatoes during our break. Man it smells so damn good. Too bad I already made a gigantic crock of my really good turkey meatsauce last night already. Maybe next week. *drool*

work it

I don't think I've worked this hard for a while. I had class most of the week, closed Wed and Thurs, worked all weekend. It's Monday again. I've been slacking on updates lately. Not like there's much to write about. School, work, gym. That's about it. I get to go out for a little bit once in a while. All the while the one thing I really want is more sleep and rest after a great workout.

I still went to the gym last night after a long day of work. I'm feeling it now. My abs are sore. I'm doing a lot more moving about lately, and I'm not losing weight. Not yet I guess. It's only been about 2 weeks of consistent workout. I'm still working on building up my endurance. I managed to shave another half a minute off my 3k last night. Anyway.

triple digits

It's suppose to be hot today. Triple digits they say. I believe it. It was in the 90's yesterday.

My fatigue is starting to catch up. I'm not getting enough, rest thanks to working on week nights. I shaved a whole minute off my 3k time yesterday. My endurance sucks. I can only do 3 miles in 39 minutes. I figure by the time I can shave my time off to 36 minutes then I can do my 5 miles in an hour. That's 12 min per mile. I'm at about 13.3 min right now. I have a long way to go. I'm going to rest for a couple of days, just because of work.

A blue jay stared at me this morning. That little critter was standing on top of the recycle bin and stared at me while I was walking to class. Does that mean anything? Oh he has a mean white brow too. Wish I was carrying my camera.

I've been wearing flip flops for the last couple of weeks now. I like it a lot. Especially the ones I got. Go get some sanuk payday if you can.

I have to close again tonight. That will be fun. Not.

pictures

Sometimes I really wish I had taken more pictures in my time. I looked at some other people's site and am amazed at the different things they managed to capture. Little moments. Children. Sometimes I really wish I have a family of my own. Little ones to take care of. I know I can take care of myself, I just don't know if I would trust children to me. At the same time, I don't want to have children just for the sake of having them. I want it to be a shared thing. I have to find that person I want to share that with. I still don't know how I feel about that. I think I'm afraid to get into a relationship still. I have a tendency to be blindly loyal rather then how I truly feel. I learned a lot about myself. I need to learn to be selfish. Apparently I didn't know how. And when you're relationship with somebody who only knows how to take and take, it just drains you and leave you emotionally drained.

bush

No I don't have a political rant here, but rather a new peeve. For all you asian aunties who like to go to the gym in the afternoon, shower, then walk around naked. Please don't. I don't care if you take a shower and stay naked while you dry off. But please don't trot all over the place. No you are not allow to walk up right next to me to get on the scale buck naked while I'm hovered over my bag trying to pack. I'm not too keen on looking up and have a bush right in my face. I don't swing that way.

*end of public announcement*