reset

If I needed to hit the reset button, I did that today. My friend got me to go to the gym this morning. I made the 2 miles, and we're going to do it again tomorrow at 6:30 in the morning. I had the whole morning to myself. I refiled and organized all my papers. I can find my records now from bank accounts to health insurance to tax return. It's nice. The folder labels makes more sense now too. I did the same with my coursework. Now I have a pretty good view on what I need to do. It's actually not too bad. I'm doing laundry. I wanted to take a nap, but I made a gigantic mug of coffee instead. I cleaned my room. Cleared out part of my bookshelf that hosts my scrapbook stuff. I'm digging my way back to it.

In order for me to make more layouts, well other then the two I made, I need to know what I have. I got some folders and I intend to separate out the different elements and start planning some pages.

I felt like I got so much done today. Now I need to eat, and get ready for work. I work at 5... good times.

fried sushi and the 2 mile mark

I had fried sushi today. I had it on Tuesday too. I'm done with it. In fact I'm done with fried food for now... during the week anyway. I'm done with sodas, coffee with syrup, sweet tea, and sugary juices. That and I've been spending way too much on junk food lately. The more strip down my food the better. I've been taking my vitamins regularly. I need to just move down the list and do the things I've put down. I ran tonight. I made myself do it. I was at the 1.75 mark today, tomorrow is 2 miles. Quarter mile more at a time. I just have to do it. Let's see where that gets me.

so I was crossing the street...

and my phone rings. Of course I didn't answer it, because I can't feel my phone buzz when it's in my jeans pocket. I'm pretty sure it's the layer of fat on my thigh that filtered it out. It was my friend J just saw me cross the street and wanted to tell me about how she joined the gym over the weekend. I think I've been giving her crap for quite some time for not going to the gym with me anymore. So there I was, having tapioca express and a box of fried food, plotting out when to go to the gym again.

I felt giddy tonight. I feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can enjoy things and not get annoyed. I feel like I've reclaimed myself. I've liberated myself. I feel like I can do anything.

Right now, I am going to sleep. ha!

"the beauty of doing nothing"

I was reading last night and came across this concept. It's Italian, Roman in particular. What the person said was true. I spend time and money to peruse entertainment, but I do not do nothing. I can remember a while back I tried to spend an afternoon doing nothing. I ended up in a little Italian deli and got a sandwich, people-watching. I browsed in a bookstore, not looking for anything in particular. It felt so peaceful at times.... but I was uncomfortable. I felt this guilt from doing nothing. I felt like I should have been doing something. I felt the need to accomplish.

I don't think I can ever do nothing. But I sat down and tried to think about what makes me happy. I promptly went to flickr and looked through my photos. I added more things to the favorites folder and did some captions. I love taking pictures. I love catching people off guard. Just being themselves. I rarely find good pictures of people posing. I took out my camera the other day and figured out how to take black and white pictures. I think it's about time I learn how to use it. A little bit at a time.

I've been considering working for non-profits. I'm not too sure, but I think it feels right. I might look into that. I think I'm going to put some money into Kiva tonight. I registered a little while back, and I want to actually do something for it. Microloans, they're interesting. I'm a little obsessed with recycling of late. Bringing that bag of cans and bottles to the recycling center makes me realize how much money we throw away at work everyday. Less then half a weeks worth of recycling earned $5.80. I also snagged 10 bottle caps, worth 30 of the 220 points needed for a movie ticket. This trash is worth something afterall.

I did some cleaning this morning. I didn't plan on it. I rearranged a few items in my bathroom and opened up some counter space. It looks right.

I really want to get back to scrapping. Thing is, I have so much crap, I don't know what to start with. I got 6 planner folders yesterday. I'm going to use them. I might start working on them tonight. At least separating stuff out into the other folders I got. Page planners give me hope.

I'm good at planning things. In a support position. I can identify and acquire what is needed for a project, but I'm bad at actually working on them. Is there a job out there where I can do that? I would like one of those. Logistics, I do them.

i haven't written in a while

I felt like I was totally out of my elements today. Figured I'll try to convey it. I feel all icky all day, maybe I should have showered in the morning. In fact, maybe I should go do that after I post. My contacts are dry. My desk is randomly messy. Not too cluttered, just random crap at various spots. It felt like a good idea to go shopping today for some odd reason. I avoided the paper source like I wanted to at first. Well ok let me rewind.

I got up, at a bowl of oatmeal, and went to school. School was more bleh as usual. I was hungry the whole time. It didn't help that my classmate next to me kept saying she was starving. I kept my mind busy with what I should have for lunch. I was trying to decide between a bratwurst at the good hot dog place, boba and some fried food, or the burger place I've been meaning to go at Santana Row. My mind was pretty much set. Custom burger really sounded good, and I could hit Paper Source for random goodies. Then I walked into the elevator with another classmate and he decided I should go to lunch with him. I'm actually not that friendly of a person. I always come up with some excuse not to do things with people. Mediocre bento box and a good conversation is hard to find. Well the good conversation that is. I had to go get a birthday present. Lord how much I love gift cards. Picked up a couple of clearance scrappy things. I got a couple of packs of Cropper Hopper page planners. I really believe in organization. Now that if I get around to do it. There's so much to do.

My horoscope tells me this today:
"You may be required to work hard for the next several weeks, but you are willing because the stakes are high. Unfortunately, you don't necessarily feel like pushing yourself today, even if there is a lot to do. You prefer to reserve your energy for later on when you might need it. Go ahead and glide through the day if you can, but don't put off your tasks for too long."

It's so true. I just don't feel like doing anything at all. It's like an out of body experience or something.

Now I have to prep for dinner.

Why can't I seem to get my head together lately?

I figured out how to take black and white pictures recently. I want to do it more.

Mute Math - Typical