Customers

Ok I have a life, so I wouldn't be the one who wrote the following. But I did read it and found it quite amusing. Enjoy...

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These people piss me off--guess i better be glad i get a paycheck though.

Kinda long---sorry!

Juan Paco & 6 kids- comes in with a 1997 IBM thinkpad and asks for a universal power supply. gets mad when you show him that the price of a new one is 120$$. tells you how he bought it at the swap meet for 20 bucks, and asks if you can sell the store use power adapter cuz we have SOO many open laying around

Frustrated Dan-comes in with a cracked screen, wireless not working, and demands a new laptop cuz he spent his hard earned 399 on a sunday acer. sweres he woke up with a cracked screen and the wireless never worked. when you tell him physical damage is not covered under our warranty he tells you he bought the "one year" acer warranty that came with it. when you tell him he has to go THROUGH acer, he starts yelling and says he wants to speak to a manager. manager addresses the same issue and customer leaves the store cussing

cheap business guy- comes in the store with a half assed suit n tie. never smiles, never talks. just points at the cheapest laptop. doesn't want a case, mouse, CCA, installs. just the laptop. opens up wallet with 6 american express cards and 600 cash. pays with an american express card with NO spending limit. then walks out without saying anything.

apu and the hindus-come in the store reeking of god knows what? they come in the store asksing for last years open box for under 199.99 with a free monitor and printer . then when you tell them no, they go to their car and bring a AT board p1 and ask you to tell them whats wrong, and walk them through a system restore for free. then when you say you have to charge, they start mumbling in their language and leave with an attitude.

nerdy phone caller- in the middle of a busy sunday, keeps calling for 10 minutes straight, when someone finally has a chance to pcik up the phone. he asks for some product in stock. you check, come back tell him we had 12. and of course he has to ask CAN YOU HOLD IT FOR ME!! ill be down there in 10 minutes! you say no its store policy, but do it anyways. and of course he asks for your name. you know hes never gonna come so you set it right by the register just in case....when its closing time. the item is still there and nobody ever asked for you.

im a network engineer Eric- comes in asking for a DSL splitter. you tell him there is no such thing, its called a router.
he asks you to show him a good one, you point at a router and he has to give his "damn, why so expensive" line. then says is this pretty easy to install, here is wehre you TRY to offer ANY type of firedog service and he goes, oh its alright i can do it MYSELF im a network engineer. calls that same evening telling you the "POS #($*�($& router doesnt work, and asks you to guide him through the WHOLE setup" you say no, and he comes in the next day returning it as "defective"

Rude Reshawn- Walks in verrry slowly. Smells very dinstinctly of marijauna. You asked if he needs help with anything and he replies "can ya'll hook my sounnddss up". "Sounds? soo you have speakers? subs? radio?". He disregards your question and walks over to the jensen subs in the box that lights up. "Yo are des jensens any good" "yea, pretty good." He then asks if we can hook his sounds up. I give up and have him pull the car around to look at it.
After opening the trunk of his 1986 cutlass ciera I find two 12 inch Pyle subs and a four channel sony explode amp (he got them from his boy for 40 bones). After explaining that he needs to buy wiring to hook it up I show him what we have. Every price and product offer gets shot down with "25 dollars? that's some bullsh*t, ya'll be taxin that sh't" Finally pays for his install and wiring with 7 10 dollar bills, 10 5's and 18 1's. Then asks me every 10 minutes when the installer is going to be done. Disclaimer: Rude Reshawn is used as a general name in this scenario. Rude Reshawn hypothetically could be of any race.

GPS Gary- Walks directly to GPS upon entering the door. Knows ever model, by number, because he's been researching for 2 months. Seems flustered due to lack of sleep from being on the internet researching until 4 in the morning. Asks if we match some internet website that sells refurbs. Trys to test my knowledge with every single spec of every single unit. Punches in numerous addresses in numerous units. This guy is probably the most irrating person I have every talked to yet I still smile and nod while thinking "deushbag, deushbag, deushbag, deushbag..." Disclaimer: GPS Gary is used as a general name in this scenario. GPS Gary hypothetically could not be a middle age white male wearing New Balance tennis shoes, a button up Polo with Tight jeans, thick glasses and sipping on a Starbucks.

Audiophile Erny: Subtelly trys to put you down when voicing any opinion in a conversion. Talks at you the entire time. Tests every speakers we sell by putting his ear directly on it. Says "that ones not bad." Asks if we sell Alpine. Asks me If I've every heard of manufacturers such as Focal, MB Quart, Ect. Wants to know the FM sensity on a lower end panasonic radio. Always tells you about what he has owned in the past and how it blew away any system. Probably not Erny, you dick. Tells me he installs his own stuff, yet wants to know install pricing. Never buys anything at all, and comes in every week. Disclaimer: Erny is used as a general name in this scenario. Erny hypothetically could not be a complete prick that just got a divorce, has no money, and beats off to pictures of speakers on his Mac while listening to Queen's Greatest Hits.

Satellite radio Susan: She tells me she needs help and seems kind of pissed. Wants to know the difference between Sirius and XM. Has no idea you have to pay a monthly fee. Gets 3 diffent calls on her phone and tells ME to hold on on second. I tell her the stuff she needs to buy with it for it to work and she gets very angry, thinks I'm ripping her off and calls her brother in law to ask him because he's an "electronical expert". After hanging up she says she just needs the box and nothing else. Disclaimer: Satellite Radio Susan is used as a general name in this scenario. Satellite Radio Susan hypothetically could not be a pretentious 37 y.o. housewife on her period that thinks I work on commission.

Ipod Ian: Dashes into mobile with his 30 gig Ipod like a rabid wolverine is chasing him. "How can I play my Ipod in my car, I just got a 2007 Hyundai Sonota." "Ummmm, well there are a few different ways. The first way would involve driving at a very high rate of speed into a building. Or you could take your Ipod filled with Christina Aguilera songs and jam it into you cd player, that usually works well. I hate you Ipod Ian. Shutup. Disclaimer: Ipod Ian is used as a general name in this scenario. Ipod Ian hypothetically could not be an annoying gadget tweaker that pisses me off at the very sight. Ipod Ian hypothetically doesn't have to be some guy that comes in 3 minutes before we close and makes me suplex him onto a stack of totes.


Coupon Stacking Calvin- comes in for a cheap HP camera, buys the smaller memory card or sometimes no memory card.
expects a "mark down" cuz its too expensive, then asks you to match the online price. after that, he gives you about 3 coupons one after another, and after you scan them all you tell Calvin we can only accept 1 discount and we dont' stack offers he demands corporates #. calls corporate and they tell him the same thing. leaves the store 3 hours later after arguing and yells that hes gonna file a lawsuit

Fraudulant return Roger- you can tell this guy is a sneaky bastard right off the bat. walks in the store empty handed ,acts so suspicious that all the sales managers watch his every move. grabs a basket and throws in 6 DVDS and the most expensive DVD player. goes over to the customer service counter to do a return. when asked for receipt, phone #, address, card used with payment, etc etc date of purchase.. the works.. you can't find ANY trace of roger. "sweres" that he bought it not too long ago and that his wife changed her mind. when offered a giftcard he complains and demands cash. when confronted and taken to the data catch room to watch the video of him putting the dvds in his basket, he yells at the sales manager and walks out saying hes going to call corporate as well. sadly, on his way out mall security/the cops escort him back in and arrest him.

Waving hands waldo- normally stands in the laptop aisle with an ad and waves at you half way across the store. nags about how he had to wait for service for 30 minutes, yet he barely walked in the aisle. you go through the 'full journey' and CCA and installs......wastes about 45 minutes on the sale. then either says he forgot his credit card or ... "ill think about it" and asks for your name... and gives the same "are you on commision, ill come back and see YOU" line. walks out of the store with your business card. you marked down the sale so low for him too, and you never see him back in the store again.

Dell Ink deborah- walks around the store and asks every associate where the ink is, then gets frustrated when she cant find her Dell ink. stands in the tech line impatiently while yoru trying to deal with 5 other customers. when told that she needs DELL ink from DELL.com she rolls back her eyes and leaves the store pissed off.

Memory Upgrade marvin- doesnt know anything about computers, you ask him if its laptop or desktop and eh says its a hard drive. ask who makes it? doesn't know his manufacturer. calls his daughter on her cell and she tells it to him. you look it up on crucial.com and it says he can go up to 2gb 1gb/slot. when you show him he needs either pc 3200 or pc 2700 he looks at the price and his jaw drops. "WOW ITS THIS EXPENSIVE" when you tell him theres a rebate that will bring it down to 32.99 he still digs around and grabs the cheapest laptop ram and says "WHY WONT THIS FIT!?!? its 24.96" you explain that its a different speed , size, and slot. he walks out the store saying he'll find it cheaper or get it some other time. don't even bother asking for the install.

Dvd Dan- Comes in in the middle of the afternoon, walks around. ask if he's doing ok. He says, "well i'm looking for a movie" well duh. "i saw it not too long ago. it had those two guys from that one show. You know what i'm talking about" No sir i sure don't. He gets frustrated, tells me i'm stupid and walks out.

Slide Music Sally - Walks to csa and demands help in cd's. I walk over and attempt to help. She looks me up and down, and says "you're the only one working in cd's today?" Yes ma'am. its the after christmas lull. I'm alone from 9-5. She starts rambling, "I'm looking for slide music. You know, like the Chicago slide, Mariah Carey slide..." Uh ok ma'am. Do you know what the cd is called? What genre it is? ANYTHING?! She knows nothing. Calls me dumb and demnads i call a store close by to ask them if they know what slide music is. She wouldn't even attempt to explain it to me. So i call the store, thankfully, a white boy answers. This is key. She says hello to him, realize's he's white, like myself, and hangs up on him. So she gets angry, tells me i don't know anything about music, because i'm not black and walks out. Terrible.

MP3 Mark - Walks up, stares at the glass case. Touches the display units a little bit, but backs off when he fondles them too much. You approach, he just stares, and sighs. Says "I'm looking for an ipod but there's so many. And whats the difference between and MP3 player and an ipod? I'm so confused!" Well sir, do you want to be hip, buy the ipod. If not, i've got this lovely 512gb sandisk player on sale for 30$ its pretty popular. Ok i'll take it. Walks away. Suddenly turns around and walks quickly back, "Does this have everything i need?! charger, case, software!! Help!!" well sir, you probably need this wall charger, and this 14$ case. Oh and the 24$ accidental. You look like you work out a lot



Cell Phone Grandpa- This is the extremely OLD and RUDE person. He demands to know everything about your cell phones. The prices, cost per minute, calling area's etc.... When you explain to him that you need to add money to your account evey 90 days he flips out. I explain its not the Stores policy, but the phone company. He still yells at me.
He then DEMANDS I activate the cell phone for him, I explain we do not offer that service and he must do that from his home and on his home phone line. I explain its a liability for us to service his phone since we are not authorized.I also note there is an instruction manule included with pictures. He looses his temper and demands the manger, who tells him the same things. He still buys the phone, however ends up calling you the next day asking how to put the "SI" Card in correctly. You explain he must call the manufacture's toll free number as we are not a support agency for their products. He calls you a bastard and hangs up.

Cell phone Harold and Betty
This is an extremly old, however nice couple. They are very polite and glad you helped them. You begin to explain the rate plan to them. This is when they stop listening and become cenial(sp?) They cant understand the rate plan at all and you end up spending 30 or so minutes on it. They give you this blank face and cannot understand that for $100 they get 1000 minutes and it comes out to 10 cents a minute. After about 45 minutes of them not understanding basic math, they become angry and say there bringing their grandson in tommorow to explain it and walk off..

Life story John
This is the guy who is middle aged divorced and probably a porn addict. After you ring him up and the sale is complete, he talks and a talks about his life. You learn how he has cancer, his wife left him and he might be getting laid off. He then starts talking about the Superbowl. Next topic his is 1968 chevy or mustang. He tells how he has it pimped out and all custome work done. Finally another customer comes up and saves me.

No Life Nick- Never buys anything, never talks. Just walks around for about 7 hours every saturday and sunday looking at things. screws up all the screen savers and adds stupid computer wallpapers to computer displays. knows the store so well hes probably worth hiring for minimum wage to put go-backs away.

Rebate Rebecca- this character camps out 5am for a sunday 399 laptop. rushes in and points the ad at you. begs for the cheapest laptop, doesnt let you talk about it, doesn't let you explain return policies, warranties, etc.. then asks for all the FREE stuff after rebate. when asked what anti virus she wants she says "none, i already have it". then when you tell her you have Norton for free, she tells you shell get it. free printer after rebate? yes. USB cable? no, she says she has it. Ink? she already has it. you go on and on and basically get her EVERYTHING free after rebate and she smiles and busts out 1500 in cash. her rebates use up 3/4 of all your receipt paper. you laugh deep down inside cuz she wont get ANY back . lol.

Interupting Isiaih- its a busy sunday afternoon, all associates are busy with customers and this guy is bugging every sales associate. he taps people on the shoulder while they are on the phone with the bank for an approval, and tells associates off when they say "sorry, im busy ill help you in a minute" he finally drags someone from the other department on the OTHER SIDE of the store and asks for a simple question. "do you have this item on display" ... associate from other department confirms that yes you do. customer says "thanks" and walks out empty handed. within the next 10 minutes, when all associates are free, they ask each other if they've seen the pest thats been asking EVERYONE for help. finally the guy from department far away tells everyone "its okay, he just had a quick question"

Holiday Harold- we all know this guy. walks around atleast 6 hours 4th of july, new years, christmas, and easter. just walks. oh, and hes there 20 minutes before we open. and stays til hes hungry. then comes back.

Crappy Specs Cedric- Buys the cheapest computer, gets humiliated when you indirectly tell him his piece of junk sucks ass. comes in every week asking for advice about his celeron with 256 MB of ram. you tell him to either get a new computer or upgrade it. never actually gets the service or upgrades done, but comes in every few weeks and says "you know i outta buy the ram soon.. ill let you know how it turns out"

price quote patrick- this guys probably has called geek squad, firedog, compusa, fry's, and every repair shop in town for pricing. spends either 30 mins on the phone or 45 minutes in person asking for a certain price for some in-home computer work. this guy makes you and your manager have $$$ in your eyes because he leads you on so much. you think you have a transaction of almost 600 dollars in pure installation profit... and right when you ask him if hed like you schedule the service and pay he ALWAYS says... "let me ask my wife/computer IT guys at work/my kids" or some lame excuse. or gives the classic "let me give you guys a call and schedule an appointment" you and your manager get desperate for the sale so they offer him 25% off if he pays on the spot, and the moron still says "ill let you guys know later on , ill call to schedule"..your manager gets even more desperate and tells him well do it for half off, and gaurantee someone there by tommorow (normally 99 bucks extra) for free. he still insists hell call later. your shift ends and the store closes. you NEVER hear from him and your manager gets pissed off.