little update

I haven't had much to talk about in a while. Everything is day to day. Work has slowed down a bit. I haven't had to work at the store for a few weeks now. I was lucky enough to find myself a wonderful boyfriend. I think things are going well in general.

I try to keep myself busy when I have time off. I reconfigured my room last weekend out of necessity. It is hard to watch a 40" TV from a close range. I talked about how my overpriced phone is my graduation present for myself. I think the TV counts as my first big purchase after I got my job. It is about time to upgrade my computer monitor. 40" actually look relatively small when I am sitting in the middle of the room.

My sense of time and urgency has been slacking ever since I got out of school. Mainly because I don't have any homework. I have been trying to line up some projects for myself. I got one of the huge ones out of the way. Everything in my room has been moved around. I still need to put things back into place and pull unnecessary things out. That shouldn't take too long if I really put my mind to it. I need to start working on my website. I have a very good general idea on how to build it. It will take some time, to learn and apply some building skills. I need to learn from the ground up because I want to have some clean code and have it be flexible. I think it will be worth the efforts in the end. I'm not too worried about the actual contents for the time being. I figure with the topics I want to put into the site, the contents will fill itself eventually.

I know I have made similar posts over the years regarding these things. But I really feel this time I will get around to it. It's hard to believe, but it's true. Every day I am making little changes to my surrounding and myself. I'm working on it. One of my major flaws is that I am really a perfectionist. If I can't make something perfect, I simply stop working on it. I have many many unfinished projects. I collect random things with the intention of putting them into scrapbooks. I am not as artistic as I would like to think. I do have an eye for the aesthetics and have collected many things over the years. I am forcing myself to sort out these things and figure out what I really want. What defines me?

drinks

I had one of those days where I needed a drink at the end of it. I forgo the urge to pick up that bottle of Patron Silver at Trader Joe's and settled for a mini keg can of Heineken chilling in my fridge instead. Not a good Monday at work, I forgot my badge this morning and everyone went home early from feeling blah. That is a first in all my time there. It also didn't help that I was worried the whole day about somebody who was sick. I was worried that he had passed out. I went over to his house after work and banged on his door for what seemed to be forever. I really wanted to just stare him down and sarcastically say, oh you're still alive, then turn around and walk away.

I feel like an idiot to care so much.

selfish

I took a walk today during my break from work. It felt great and I did what I wanted to. That's the key word for me for the last few days. I realize how often I don't think for myself and blindly do what other people think would be best for me. I have gotten a few major hurdles out of my way and I am satisfied with the way I reached these major goals. I can't say I am completely happy. I realize that society, family, and friends have pressured me to behave a certain way for the past 26 years and I caved. I think it really is time to examine the things that makes me truly happy from the bottom of my heart.

It is mostly my fault that I allow myself to be so sheltered and closed in. I am insecure and needs validation. In some places such as my academic career and professional career I have become incredibly confident out of practice. In other ares, not as much. I can understand hard work and how to establish my path to a successful career for stability and comfort, it's the what to do with all of that part I haven't figured out.

What exactly am I working so hard for? I was fortunate enough to capitalize on an incredible opportunity. I am reluctant to leave the thing I am familiar with. I have refused to quit out of loyalty. I don't want to disappoint. That is not thinking for myself.

I can't think of a more confusing time in my life. Hanging on to the past and yet to fully embrace the future.

I need to learn to be selfish.

in case of fire

IMAGE_096
Originally uploaded by odrini

VG 6

In Case of Fire
Break Glass

short

It's been quite a while since I had some time to myself. I tried to write some a couple of weeks ago and it just didn't really happen. So a little update.

I started work at Apple and I found a man. I'm working 7 days a week and somehow need to drag my butt out of bed early enough to go to the gym. That's the short version of it.

breaking the habit

I broke the habit. I've been writing on this little piece of interwebs real estate since 9/22/2005 and I never missed a week until this past one. It has been a very interesting July for me. I had been sitting on my butt for the past two months just feeling unmotivated and down, then all of a sudden things came together.

Two months ago I finally graduated. It was one of those times when I think to myself, "well now that's done with.... what in hell am I going to do now?" It was great that I got that huge step out of the way, but I ended up sitting on my ass pretty much right off bat. I figured I deserved some sort of vacation. Sure I looked around for jobs but I was picky. I had a grand total of 1 interview in the whole process.

I had roughly two months of sitting on my ass and do nothing. Well maybe not "nothing". I did get around to go run. I lost about 7 lbs so far and it really shows. I need to get back into that habit. I liked it. My body adjusted to the exercise and I can do it forever. I need to work on my play list though.

Things are coming together at a very rapid pace. I have to say that I like it very much.

doors

It's funny how things work out sometimes. More on that later... now I need sleep.

epic?

That last post was a little sketchy. I was working on a fairly long write up, and stopped. Why would I spend so much time thinking and writing about things instead of experience life?

Life goes on. I'm turning the page.

life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

I've been thinking a lot of things over in the last month, but I failed to put anything down in words. It all boils down to my inability to thoroughly grasp what I want in life. I am in a purgatory of sorts.

It was the 4th of July this past weekend. The phrase "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" came to mind. It is a right the forefathers of this country established of which I am entitled. I have a whole lot of freedom on my hands that I honestly don't know what to do with. I let opportunities come and go with few accomplishments in between. School, work, family, love, and everything else. I am proud that I finally finished a huge leg of my schooling. I am desperately reaching for the work part. I am overprotected in many ways. I concede I am broken in the relationship department. Although I am comfortable, this is not how I see myself to be at this age.

I'm still in love with Paris. I desperately want to go back. Rent an apartment for a while and just live there. Take the city in. I know I've been slacking in the photography department of late, but my prior trip was the reason why I wanted to invest in a dSLR.

There was a permanent fixture at a mall when I went up to the house last weekend. It was for the American Red Cross to solicit donation for disasters. The thing that struck me was there is a slot for people to put a piece of paper to indicate the disaster-du-jour. How often do things go wrong to warrant this sort of fixture? It's just a thought.

I recently saw a license plate frame that said, "I am a leaf in the wind, Wash is my co-pilot". I should have taken a picture of it. Obviously not the most original thing ever said, but I did find it amusing. Something so brilliant can be so short-lived.

snooze

roses

night

Squeeze

Squeeze
Originally uploaded by odrini

Yes, it's a Glock 9mm... but you probably already know that

but you weren't there....

So I was checking out my unofficial transcript this morning...

friday the 13th

A day like any others. I decided to give my knees a rest today. I think after yesterdays more successful run I deserved it.

I walked outside from work today a dusk. The sky was laden with a thick, dark cloud. Fortunately it wasn't from the smoke of a nearby fire, it was a larger fire in a forested area further south. It just looked so ominous. A red that resembled dried blood. The moon was red when I came home. In fact I am looking right at it. More clear now that the smoke drifted away. The first word that came to mind was "sinister".

A lady wearing dark scrubs with some frilly pattern interrupted my reading during work today to ask me who sang "lollipop"... Pardon? I reacted. I had no idea what she was talking about. You know, that song that has been playing on the radio? What about 3-6 Mafia (I have no idea if that is how you spell it, considering hip hop today...). Well ma'am I have heard of them, I'm not sure if that is the artist for that particular song... but I'm sure you can find them in the R&B aisle... What about Danity Kane? (ah, a bulb went off... I have no idea about their music but I have in fact heard of them) Yeah they should be down at R&B as well. Mind you, prior to her interruption I was happily flipping through David Saderis's latest book. If you haven't heard of him, I strongly suggest his works both in print and radio. A gentleman who I presume was her husband proceeded to ask a colleague of my of a darker skin tone about the song, of which she retorted by asking which version. Lil Wayne, she said, would be the artist they seek. Did I mention the couple was white? I know I am being stereotypical here, but these are the things I observe. I suppose I can't judge a book by its cover, and that goes the same for others of me.

I have been a bit melancholy today. Although I have not developed a taste for Sunday morning news shows, I do appreciate the works of Tim Russert. He will be sorely missed.

while I was waiting for people to show up....

The whole vacation thing doesn't really suit me. Not at first at the very least. I ran out of housework very quickly. My room I ridiculously organized. Well not in the sense that it's got a crazy organizational scheme, it's just that it has not been this organized since I moved back. So that is done with and I am currently trying to get the whole physical fitness thing going. I can attest to skipping more then 3 days for any reason is not good enough of a reason. I had a hell of a time te last three days trying to get myself back into the groove. Well I guess tat is more of an on going thing.

I've had this phone for a little less then two months and I am already tempted to get the new iPhone. It's not even the phone itself I'm getting excited over, but the new roll out of MobileMe that so nicely compliments it that I'm excited over. Alas, I need to be content with this phone for the time being, if the iPhone gets onto other networks then I can simply upgrade to it. That and I still like my rubber keys.

I didn't know this was one of my peeves is before. I think it's rude to leave your own party and hang out with people you run into for a good amount of time. But considering the example I have been given today, I don't really care. Oh and I hate it when I am on time and everybody else is running at least 15 min late. Good thing I have my phone to play with.

I have been having a hell of a time trying to figure out what to write. I love writing, but I honestly have nothing to write about but my boring daily happenings. I honestly thought I would have so much more time to just do whatever I want after school is done with. As it turns out I have no idea what I want to do. I don't have a passion for anything in particular. I don't have the friends that I can just call up and do random things with. I'm kind of at a loss here. Maybe that is why I have been dreading this vacation. There is so much uncertainty and I don't have control over so much of it. It just feels strange.

I can churn out tons and tons of words to post in this infinite pit and it doesn't have to mean a damn thing. I don't actually have the talent to create content I realized a long time ago. What I am actually good at is to facilitate these things. I started studying the whole web design thing last week. I figured it was about time I get started on this great website I wanted to make for many many years. I don't know how it will turn out, but I'm hoping it will turn out much better then my writing.

this place

I feel like I'm caught in an interesting place right now. I've worked so hard to come to this place where I don't have any worries and can do whatever I want, and I can't wait to get out of it. I don't feel right when things I do doesn't exactly serve a specific purpose. I feel the need to not be here.

perspective

I have the TV on because I'm bored. There's this woman on right now talking about her book. She wrote a book about how she got pregnant after she met some guy at a bar. I feel sorry for her. I absolutely do. I think maybe about a week ago I would have been more sympathetic. Right now I just think by doing so is more pathetic.

how 'bout them apples

sunday sunday

I wasn't in the best state this morning. I think you can count that as an example of pms. I don't think I have ever been so affected before. My whole body resisted this morning to yet another run. I ran 7 times in the past 8 days. I have been working on my time on it. I got very close to my first milestone yesterday. I missed it by 13 seconds in fact. I really wanted to take the day of because my knees are very sore. They still are. My hip was hurting when I woke up this morning in an odd spot. No matter how I try to turn it wouldn't pop. By the time I got to the gym I already had side stitches. Did I mention I didn't even get the chance to grab some breakfast this morning? I was entirely resentful this morning of that exercise. I thought by finishing it I would feel better. Honestly I don't. I don't feel any better because I ran my 7th 5K in the last 8 days. I wanted to sleep in and not do any more damage to my knees for the next 24 hours.

I'm sitting on the patio and I'm cold. There are so many little things bugging me right now I just want to sit and not do anything. I'm not totally grouchy. I'm in fairly good spirits actually. It's just the little annoying things that are bugging me.

Numb-WHAT?!?

hard work or something like it

new dwelling

looking forward to August

Pork and Beans

done

So now I'm just waiting for my grades. I have no doubt I passed all my classes, but there are always uncertainties until I see the final grade. Funny enough I don't feel any different. Maybe it's because I have been at this for so long I just don't know how to feel different. Or maybe I have been checked out for so many years I am as relaxed as I can be already. Whichever turns out to be the case does not deny the fact that I am finally done with school and earned that pesky piece of paper that seem to be so hard to obtain.

me worried?

I'm done with three of my classes. I already have my grade in the HR capstone class. I have a B-, which is the same as what he gave me last semester in legal issues. I'm fine with it. As long as I don't have a C in that class I'm happy. I think I worked a lot harder in that class then the last class. I feel like I learned something there for once. It's debatable how much I will be able to retain and use. But hey, a B- is not a C. I didn't do too well in the objective part of the final, but it was still above average. I did fairly well on the essay part, I guess he thinks I make sense on some of the stuff I wrote. So that's one down.

The one I took last Friday was pretty easy. I don't want to jinx myself or anything, but to keep my A in that one I needed a 65% in the final. I think I'm pretty set. I was the first one out the door again. Technology classes can be boring for me, but if it raises my GPA I'm all for it.

The one I took yesterday was on compensation. I'm interested in the subject but it's not the most exciting book to read. I think I'll get a B or B+ in there. That's still pretty good.

Tomorrow I have two more finals I am studying for right now. Well I will start in a minute after I finish eating. I'm expecting a B and C in those classes. That still gives me a decent GPA at the end. I feel like my mom is really nervous about this whole graduation thing. She keeps asking me about grades. It's getting a bit on my nerves. I understand why she would feel this way but hey, I'm good this time.

downer

I honestly hate it when people are trying to protect me overtly. Here's the thing, if you try to do that you're probably killing my potential opportunities. I don't want you to go, well those interviews are insane and you'll never make it out alive. Well man, good to know, what's the worse they're going to do to me? say no? Oh wow geez, that sounds horrifying. Or are you afraid of me yelling at you about putting me in that situation? Why would I do that in the first place. Are you that insecure about yourself? I'm not even saying they will interview me for sure. Just send my damn resume over and get it done. I can use the experience. I hate to have to ask somebody like that for a favor because he'll feel like I owe him for like the rest of his life. Oh and the other thing, yeah I know putting my resume on their website is not going to get me anywhere. Is it ok if I just put it in so I don't have to do it when they ask me to? I'll have to do it eventually, why not now and perhaps have an opportunity. Why do you insist on treating me like a fucking child. This is stupidly frustrating.

something different

As some of you may notice, this looks a little bit different. I've decided to streamline, consolidate, and make this a little brighter. After all the most important part is the content. All the links on my side bar are now on del.icio.us. I will need to sort them out further in the future, but as for now it's all consolidated into a few broad categories that resembled what I had out on this page. This way it's easier to sort and edit. Some of the list items I have moved to my Google notebook. Again, a whole lot more mutable and easier to organize and post. Speaking of posting, I installed a new software on my phone that allows me to post things to flickr, youtube, and facebook. Well they have a lot more applications, but I picked the ones I use most. It's nice to have because I don't have to mess around with my clunky email every time I want to post something. I suppose I'm really starting to embrace this pervasive internet thing.

Today is ridiculously hot. It's about noon and it's almost 90 degrees outside. Crazy. I had the air conditioner on last night so I could fall asleep. I don't think it can beat this heat. So I came out again to my perch. At least there's good coffee and air conditioning here.

looking ahead

I suppose this is the point in my life when I get all philosophical about life and such. I am officially finished with my last regular class, my finals are on Friday, Monday and two on Wednesday. Then I'm done. And I mean done, with school, for now at least. I don't know if I will go back to school, but I do want to go back eventually to just finish up my CS degree. I was so close. But for now, I'm looking at my final week in school. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I don't really have a prospect in work yet. I've been sort of looking and throwing my resume in a few directions. I haven't had any call backs yet. I not really hold out much hope for some of them, but it doesn't hurt to try.

I feel like I should have some plans for the future now that I have the time for it. It's like starting a new chapter in my life. I know I drone on about it. I don't really feel too different about it, but I really should. It is a huge change. Moving from one major phase in my life into the next. The next leg is going to be long but I will have more control. It feels strange to know that.

I know I should feel a lot more excited about it, but I don't. I just can't wait to get it over with and move on. I think to a degree I have let other people to dictate my life for far too long. I don't do the things I really want to do because of influence from others. It's a sad existence. I am not here to enjoy myself, but rather to please others. I know I do it whether I like it or not. I'm trying to change it.

Sumo Car Wash

another week and a half...

so close... and yet so far away

mobile note #7

It's such a glorious Saturday morning. Aside from missing out on the house hunting today, there's really no place else I would rather be. The art work at Barefoot changed. There is some very interesting photos on the wall. I want to be able to do something like that some day. I should take a class on that. Learn the basic skill and let myself go. I was suppose to go house hunting with the folks today, but I simply have too much work to do. It's not that I am really all that interested in a new house, if I were to go it would just be spending quality time with the folks. It's nice that they want to fit me into that picture, but I want to start painting a new one for myself. I think it's about time I start thinking about how to branch out. I enjoy spending time by myself sometimes. I had breakfast by myself this morning. It was still early enough to call it that. I am starting to get a little more particular about the quality of food I get. Buy local, organic, fresh. I want to sit there and enjoy every bite. Simple little things. I'm not the only one here spending quality time by oneself here. This has truly become my third place. It doesn't feel the same at other cookie cutter places. It's a unique identity type of thing I suppose. I am trying so hard to find it. I have been looking for a job. The ones that pertains to my degree (two and a half more weeks!) requires some time of experience. I reminded myself of something last night from a talk I had with dad a couple of years ago when I was trying to figure out what to do. I don't have to do what I get my degree on. I can do whatever I feel is best. I just need that degree (two and a half more weeks!) It lifted a weight off me last night. I don't feel the pressure as much as before. I don't have a job lined up for me, but I am not panicking. Maybe I am too laid back about it. I am formulating a plan of attack. I am applying to at least I 3 or 4 jobs a week. I try to look for something every day and just throw my resume at it. I am pretty confident about my resume because it is a good summery and I had a couple of people review it for me. I never gave cover letters much thought, but I have to write one for practically every position I apply for. I read that I have to do it in my own voice. I did. I think that is one of the many things that sets me apart from the rest. I think it is because of the amount I write that gives me the confidence in my writing. I think it really shows. I know I am the right candidate for every position I apply for. I have been working on a few large projects for school of late. I am usually the one reviewing and revising the paper. I have the leadership skills to steer the groups into right directions. The only hitch is I have to work hard and not be lazy. That itself gets m into trouble. I set a goal for myself in the beginning of the year, I had to ace a test base on effort. I finally did. It was funny because that was the time when I managed to finish a 75 min midterm in 20 min. I think the professor thought I gave up. I was fast and concise. He asked me if I wanted to write more. I didn't. I told him I know what I wrote and I actually studied this time. It's all there. I got 153 over 159... that's about 96%. I surprised myself actually. I really didn't expect to do quite as well. It was a pleasant surprise. Speaking of pleasant surprises, the Sharks won again last night. I really don't want to hold too much hope into the situation. One game at a time. Instead of looking too far ahead, just look at the here and now. Put the best efforts into it and hope for the best. Have no regrets about the amount of effort put forth. I think those are some of the things I need to do myself. Have a plan of attack, one thing at a time.

mobile note #6

Funny how I was just thinking about consumption the other day. There was a discussion in class today about buying organic. Most people, me included, cited reasons such as feeling good about myself and health reasons. The biggest reason nobody thought of is sustainability. A sustainable way of growing food will ensure environmental integrity and food supplies for generationzs to come. So I guess that is yet another way to think about the way I consume. I already started some things. I recycle and I try to conserve water when I shower. Does it really help? I don't think so on a daily basis. But I do believe it adds up in the long run.

mobile note #5

I'm starting to have some issues with being a child of tis consumerist society. I am raised to believe that more, bigger, the better. This is not what my parents are all about, but it is a product of capitalism. We consume the amount of things we do because we are conditioned to believe those are the things we need. The latest gadget, like the one in my hand for example, is essential to my well being. I know for a fact that I don't need a phone, and yet I am willing to purchase the latest and greatest. I want to believe my purchasing pattern is discriminatory. I can do so much better. My issue with the way I learned to consume is the amount of waste I generate and other opportunity costs. I throw away an enormous amount of garbage every week.

The whole issue goes back to my consumption pattern and what adjustments I can make to change it. I recycle a lot more now then I did before. The man focus is on beverage containers. I was reading an article last night about how much oil it takes to make those containers and how they end up in the middle of the ocean. It's such a waste.

mobile note #4

It is hot this weekend. There is something about this weather that makes me want to be lazy. Unfortunately I had to work. Yesterday at work was not entirely fun. Today we had an early meeting and I worked through it. Meetings are usually boring... and this one is no exception. Making occasional smart ass comments actually helps the time pass a little faster. Two hours of sitting around and making fun of people is not bad. I think sometimes I have no soul. I charged close to $1k in revenue after the store opened and about 100 of which was cost... I was very profitable today. Sometimes I feel bad about just grabbing the most convenient thing instead of the cheapest. I don't feel too bad about charging somebody 550 for something that I was willing to charge 350 for. Yeah. People should beware of me.

I have been known to do some pretty silly things and have weird reasoning. One of the silliest thing people think I do is that I still use my hipster PDA. If you remember from some weeks back I made a little pocket notebook from recycled paper. So why do I still use it even after I got my crazy new phone? Because the pen will always be mightier. Even with a touch screen on this phone I still can't lay out a series of complex information in one screen for comparison. I like to lay out my pages side by side and draw relations on it. I will get around to put some of these things on my phone as a reminder, but it doesn't tell me everything. So I keep using it. It just make sense to me.

Sometimes I wonder if it will be better if I just back away and not be in touch with some people. It's so hard to strike a balance. I think from now on I'll just act dumb and uninformed. That seems to be the way to go.

I had some pretty strange dreams last night. I think I had too much on my mind. Things that really shouldn't bother me at all. I want to start doing some meditation at night to clear my head. Speaking of doing healthy things... I need to start to eat better, smarter. I am actually gradually losing weight. I need to really watch my portion size and what I eat. I gt into the habit of going out for lunch twice a week with a couple of my friends. I jus need to watch how I eat when I do that. The majority of regular spending I did last month was on food. It really shouldn't be the case. I had some goals this month, and so far I only got one of them done. I got an important one done. My resume is done, I started sending it out. I will have to see what I can get. The other things really involved self control. Things such as spending, exercising regularly, and plan meals. I need to have more decipline. One of the things I need to work on is to keep things to myself. I have a blog that nobody reads anyway... I may as well dump it on here. =p

mobile note #3

Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I don't feel like this is one of those times... but it may be best to stay away from some people to clear my head. I have 4 more weeks of school. That includes finals. I'm getting there. This is the time when I need to really concentrate, and yet I let myself to be distracted. I think I was happier a couple of weeks ago. I tried to do more then I usually do and was questioned for it. What exactly is my motivation for wanting to do something different somebody asked. I justed wanted to do something different like you all wanted me to. I don't understand why some people have to artificially create social pressure. Maybe it hakes him feel more important. It makes the whole situation repulsive. I'm already sick of it. I opened a few doors in he last couple of weeks, but now I don't even know if I want to walk through them. Fun isn't it. It's like going to high school all over again.

I found myself as part of a crowd waiting for the recycling guy to show up. it's funny how everything stops before he show up. They wait in a crowd. I have a ridiculous amount of cans and bottles this week. That is mostly due to the failure of communication. I can't trust them to get things done. Thus is life.

I was tired by the time I got home today. I was tired of things. Work is getting to the point where it's starting to wear on me. Stupid people, mainly customers, makes me not like my job. I think today was the first time I'm really looking to graduating because I can find a real job and quit this one. It's a great job while I'm in school, but I can see how it wears people down. I looked at a couple of people I know today and felt lucky. They talked about getting back in school to finish and do something else. But being in this job for so long just wore them down. I'm glad I had the luxury to have a choice.

sabotage

I know somebody that is really great at sabotaging relationships. It's sad really, to do that and not realizing it. I am trying to give him the benefit of a doubt. I get the sense that he learned interpersonal relationships through mass media. Often exaggerated drama. What he doesn't understand is, relationship between people is not always cut and dry. It's delicate and has many dimensions. Categorically sorting things in that is and what isn't doesn't work. It's worse when he tries to impose these ideas on the people involved. I can try to work around it, but that's because I learned to not believe a single word he saids unless somebody else backs it up. It's sad really. To not be able to trust a friend.

mobile note #2

*If I'm watching Charlie Rose at 12 am... I have time to post all of the things I wrote today*

I had a moment of clarity tis morning. I'm not ready for another relationship. This of course comes with some 'but's. I have yet to come across a person that makes me change my mind. I'm not opposed to dating and such... I'm just not ready to settle again. The last time around I was heavily discounted and it made me apprehensive. I don't know what normal is like... but can I be wit somebody normal for once. I'm also done with trying so hard. I'm sick of carrying the relationship through. One of my best friends told me once the guy I should be with eventually should care enough to check on me every morning and night, and sensitive enough to give me my space. I should be on his pedestal and I should be able to not be bothered by his flaws. Maybe I'm being too picky. So far I have found flaws on anyone who showed any remote interest. Maybe I still hold a candle out for somebody else and nobody can compare. I have some very precise expectations. The bottom line is he needs to make me happy without annoying the hell out of me. I hate it when people try too hard. It's not hockey... if it comes naturally to you then you don't have to work so hard. It only pushes me away.

On a lighter note I canceled a dinner with my friend to watch my beloved Sharks pummel the snot out of the Flames last night. I was so happy they moved onto the next round. There was so much emotion invested in this game that I finally feel this team will come through at the end. It's a sense of optimism I haven't felt for a very long time. It's a tricky thing to support a sport team. I think this is the first time I have unconditionally be so passionate over a sports team. It's somehow different. I was going to make a post a few weeks back about how I don't get excited over anything anymore. That sense of passion slipped away from me. It's not true. I do have one thing I'm passionate about. The way I can tell is from my own physical reactions. I rock back and forth in anticipation, my heart rumbles in my chest, and I feel like I'm at the precipice of greatness. The last time I really felt that great anticipation was at my first DMB concert. Every song was like a revelation. Every note and every beat drove to the core of my being. Last night, 10 miles away from the Shark Tank I felt it. The last three minutes of the game lasted an eternity. The nature of the game is unpredictable. At any moment the tide can turn. There is a sense of finality to it. The fun thin is, whatever happened last night does not matter anymore today. I am looking forward to Friday when this process starts all over again. God I love playoff hockey.

An old friend of mine wrote a thing about the Democratic nomination process today. He wrote an open letter to Clinton. From what I gather off his writing is that the situation right now is a no win for the Democrats with Clinton still in the race. I too can sense the imminent attacks from McCain. In fact I am thinking now to just vote for McCain and get it over with. I would probably have voted for him if he had won the nomination 8 years ago. It is true that the war changed my opinion greatly of the Republican party, but comparing to the Democratic party right now it is much more disciplined. To tell the truth none of the candidates are appealing to me at this moment. I am still hoping for Gore. I voted for him last time around and I absolutely stand by that decision.

Two hours is an eternity to me right now. I spent the whole morning winding myself up for the test I had to take at I. I finished the 75 minute test in 20, and the class was supposed to be 3 hours. The last week had been jam packed with homework and activities. Now I have nothing. I have my phone... I didn't even bring laptop. It's one of those days where I get to spend the time alone without much worry. I probably would be content to be in complete silence but this playing a Beyonce concert that skips. I need to find motivation. I have to register for Bay to Breakers. It is a 7.5 mile distance across SF. I want to do it but I am so reluctant to train. Right now I can run 4.3 miles without slowing my pace. I can probably go longer. I come up with way too many excuses to not do the right things. Making the right decisions are so hard when I get to choose. I need to train and feel better about myself. Maybe I have too much self confidence to hinder my progress to make myself better. I am content. I also know I should be way better. So I need to find my motivation again. It really is a strategic management issue for me. I need to run my life more like an enterprise. I figure it will only make sense because I'm a business major.

I'm fairly happy with my new phone at this moment. The label is a bit of a stretch at this moment because it serves more as a portable communication device more then a traditional phone. I barely make calls out of this thin. The large touch screen and keyboard makes it ideal for my interwebs addiction. I use so few of its features, it makes me feel a little guilty about paying so much just to have mobile internet.

yet another... PSA

I honestly don't think R2 would be the one smoking... he's too cool for that. If anything C3PO is the one that's totally high strung and need a smoke... lol

mmm... cereal

PSA

ROUND 2!!!

nuff said bitches...

mobile note #1

Interestingly enough I have found yet another way to overcome the lack of true mobile support in blogger. I know my postings have been sparse. It's getting to crunch time and I really should be doing homework. I somehow have a way to always find some sort of distraction. For example, I am currently typing on my new phone. This piece of technology have wasted many of my hours due to customization and learning. Although I am largely back to my previous productivity (if you can call it that) level with a few new perks, there are still a couple of features I am trying to get to work. I suppose that is what my down time will be for. I do have to note that a larger keyboard does help me type a bit faster, when I use both hands. The keyboard is fairly wide.

The whole idea of mobile notes is a fairly simple concept from Google. I'm glad they put it in. I can now convert my down time to blogging time. Isn't it swell. I anticipate some sort of information overload. My intentions from earlier in the week was to use Facebook as such a platform. A couple of drawbacks are the immediacy of publication hence the lack of the ability to edit and it is simply the wrong audience. Twitter solved some of my problems with that particular venue. There are a million thought going through my head on a daily basis and not too many of them warrant a full blog to themselves. Most of them are one-liners. Twitter is built for that and it is not as stringent as the status update on Facebook. I plan to add the application on the blog also... this is the hub for everything about me afterall.

FB Note #1

going mobile

6:29pm Today | Edit Note | Delete
Uploaded via Facebook Mobile

I find this whole facebook thing a bit much. I use it, but I have to limit myself. I think it's actually easier to set a "note" from my phone then to blog on my site. In fact, I'm on my couch right now typing on my phone. I feel like I'm texting myself....

is it icy fruit or fruity ice?

*ponders as I enjoy my frozen jamba block*

borders

I met a new girl at work this morning and we already disagreed on whether Israel is a country or not. Good way to make friends. I ran into her at barefoot. At least we agree on something. I should abstain from divisive conversations. I want to make friends sometimes.

discussions

Today was interesting at school. Everything was discrete.

I got an email last night from one of my professor that a group assignment was not turned in on Monday. Curious, another group member and I tried to contact the member who was suppose to turn it in. We weren't able to find her and our professor gave us an extension until today at 2. There were a few more things that entirely ticked me off, but long story short, she was very sick and was entirely incompetent of informing us of such fact. We took care of it and all is good. Now I need to throw all eight weeks worth of data into a spread sheet to see what has been happening. Anyway, it will be fun.

It was suppose to be a fairly boring discussion on how modern China effects the world in my first class of the day. In fact it was going to be so bad that my professor could not find a good movie to show and came up with the whole truth-statements worksheet so we would have something to talk about. There were twenty statements for us to fill in. We were suppose to work on them five at a time and discuss them. Little did he know that we would be hung up on the first one. It was a really huge and eye opening discussion. I jotted down a few things because it was a chore to get my opinion in. I think that's a piece of writing for another day.

I'm not even sure what I did for the rest of the day. All I know is, I walked all the way across campus to get a burrito from Iguana's. I don't know why I did that. I went there yesterday. Maybe their carnitas was really that good. I don't know.

a good idea

http://www.43folders.com/2004/09/03/introducing-the-hipster-pda
http://www.mattcutts.com/blog/notebook-productivity-tips-2/


I can totally do that. I think I'm going to make one tomorrow with all of that scratch paper I have. Yay recycle!

**update**
I'm so proud of myself. I almost gave in and bought stuff to make this bad boy... but no.... I made one with the stuff I had on hand. Yay to scrap paper!

barefoot

So I'm sitting in this little indy coffee house in santa clara of all places. This place is so unassuming I have missed it for pretty much its entire existence. I think that is the magic of social networking and recommendation websites. This place has over 200 reviews on yelp and retains a nearly perfect rating. I like it... I just need to try the macchiato now....

*edit*
The macchiato was ridiculously good. You see my banner photo? That one was great, but the one I had today was better. No roasting taste at all. Just plain espresso heaven. I can't wait to finish all of that coffee I have at home so I can start buying small batches from them.

some things off top of my head

I've taken a mental and physical break for the last few weeks. I woke up this morning thinking I want to sleep in, but why? I think it's about time I get my business in order. I graduate in six weeks. I should plow through it.

Standing on top of a six story building at 10 in the morning is interesting. I'm overlooking the city. The sky was overcast. I should have worn that orange sweatshirt I laid out yesterday instead of the skimpy blue hoodie.

How do you judge the character of a food services establishment? I always start with the lowest common denominator. A latte in a coffee house, katsu-don at a Japanese restaurant, carnitas taco at a Mexican place, pho at a Vietnamese noodle place, shredded pork sandwich at a Viet sandwich shop, palak paneer at an Indian place. These things gives me perspective. How good can the more complicated dishes be if they can't excel in the most fundamental parts of their cuisine? I want to venture out of the usual places I go to, but these are the things I want to stick to.

I'm thinking about getting some playoff tickets today. I have an hour to think about it.

Having the house to myself put things in perspective for me. My role in the household expanded. There are so many little things I didn't think of before. I had to go out of my way to get those things done. These things are routine now. It's just strange.

Bay to Breakers attire idea:
Back of my t-shirt: "I'm graduating in 3 days... FINALLY!"
Back of dad's t-shirt: "No more tuition... WOOHOO!"

RIP

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7332960.stm

Matt

don't be a piece of s**t

writings

I was walking from one class to another today and I was seriously contemplating the viability of writing a two-page essay every week on topics I'm interested in. This stems from writing a three-page (double-spaced) essay this morning for a class. It was a mildly interesting topic. What happens when I write about something I actually have a strong opinion on? I am going to need a whole lot of prompts.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

The Real-Life Rick Roll

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Physicists Gone Wild

go watch this

expedition

I spent Easter morning cleaning my car. About a year and a half ago, a can of sugar free full throttle exploded in my car. I finally took care of it. It will probably take a couple more cleanings to get everything out. I went ahead and tried to clean out some trash from the car. It was like an archaeological expedition to my past life. I keep finding random things that have been sitting in the car for ever. I took them out, put it in a bag and maybe I'll scrap about it.

B&W

DSC02640
Originally uploaded by odrini

I've always loved black and white photography. I tried it in junior high when I was working on the yearbook. Some of the best photos in that year were by me. Back then it was expensive to take black and white photos. Since I figured out how to take black and whites with my DSLR I've been experimenting with light. This is a prime example.... but of course... I needed a great model for it. <3

schedule as it stands

software

So I was thinking about buying this software that will help me organize my scrappy ideas and journaling. I was looking through for some reviews and such and ran across something. This person said I should embrace my own handwriting because it is a little piece of me. I never liked how my handwriting looked. But I guess that's something I need to take into account. Cool, that means I'm going to save myself 20 bucks =p

lunch

Horchata, taco con carnitas, y taco con lengua. yeah you don't have to look that last one up, I had beef tongue taco for lunch. I finally made my way to La Vic's today with a classmate. It wasn't spectacular, but did it hit the spot. It was probably dumb not to get up early enough to have breakfast. I was down for anything. The carnitas was good, but not as good as La Bamba. They rely heavily on the orange sauce. Again, it was good, but not as addicting as some people have said. Again, it was a good experience, but then again it's been almost 6 hours, I should go make some dinner.

Jerry needs no help playing with his ball.

so cute!

shampoo

reset

If I needed to hit the reset button, I did that today. My friend got me to go to the gym this morning. I made the 2 miles, and we're going to do it again tomorrow at 6:30 in the morning. I had the whole morning to myself. I refiled and organized all my papers. I can find my records now from bank accounts to health insurance to tax return. It's nice. The folder labels makes more sense now too. I did the same with my coursework. Now I have a pretty good view on what I need to do. It's actually not too bad. I'm doing laundry. I wanted to take a nap, but I made a gigantic mug of coffee instead. I cleaned my room. Cleared out part of my bookshelf that hosts my scrapbook stuff. I'm digging my way back to it.

In order for me to make more layouts, well other then the two I made, I need to know what I have. I got some folders and I intend to separate out the different elements and start planning some pages.

I felt like I got so much done today. Now I need to eat, and get ready for work. I work at 5... good times.

fried sushi and the 2 mile mark

I had fried sushi today. I had it on Tuesday too. I'm done with it. In fact I'm done with fried food for now... during the week anyway. I'm done with sodas, coffee with syrup, sweet tea, and sugary juices. That and I've been spending way too much on junk food lately. The more strip down my food the better. I've been taking my vitamins regularly. I need to just move down the list and do the things I've put down. I ran tonight. I made myself do it. I was at the 1.75 mark today, tomorrow is 2 miles. Quarter mile more at a time. I just have to do it. Let's see where that gets me.

so I was crossing the street...

and my phone rings. Of course I didn't answer it, because I can't feel my phone buzz when it's in my jeans pocket. I'm pretty sure it's the layer of fat on my thigh that filtered it out. It was my friend J just saw me cross the street and wanted to tell me about how she joined the gym over the weekend. I think I've been giving her crap for quite some time for not going to the gym with me anymore. So there I was, having tapioca express and a box of fried food, plotting out when to go to the gym again.

I felt giddy tonight. I feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can enjoy things and not get annoyed. I feel like I've reclaimed myself. I've liberated myself. I feel like I can do anything.

Right now, I am going to sleep. ha!

"the beauty of doing nothing"

I was reading last night and came across this concept. It's Italian, Roman in particular. What the person said was true. I spend time and money to peruse entertainment, but I do not do nothing. I can remember a while back I tried to spend an afternoon doing nothing. I ended up in a little Italian deli and got a sandwich, people-watching. I browsed in a bookstore, not looking for anything in particular. It felt so peaceful at times.... but I was uncomfortable. I felt this guilt from doing nothing. I felt like I should have been doing something. I felt the need to accomplish.

I don't think I can ever do nothing. But I sat down and tried to think about what makes me happy. I promptly went to flickr and looked through my photos. I added more things to the favorites folder and did some captions. I love taking pictures. I love catching people off guard. Just being themselves. I rarely find good pictures of people posing. I took out my camera the other day and figured out how to take black and white pictures. I think it's about time I learn how to use it. A little bit at a time.

I've been considering working for non-profits. I'm not too sure, but I think it feels right. I might look into that. I think I'm going to put some money into Kiva tonight. I registered a little while back, and I want to actually do something for it. Microloans, they're interesting. I'm a little obsessed with recycling of late. Bringing that bag of cans and bottles to the recycling center makes me realize how much money we throw away at work everyday. Less then half a weeks worth of recycling earned $5.80. I also snagged 10 bottle caps, worth 30 of the 220 points needed for a movie ticket. This trash is worth something afterall.

I did some cleaning this morning. I didn't plan on it. I rearranged a few items in my bathroom and opened up some counter space. It looks right.

I really want to get back to scrapping. Thing is, I have so much crap, I don't know what to start with. I got 6 planner folders yesterday. I'm going to use them. I might start working on them tonight. At least separating stuff out into the other folders I got. Page planners give me hope.

I'm good at planning things. In a support position. I can identify and acquire what is needed for a project, but I'm bad at actually working on them. Is there a job out there where I can do that? I would like one of those. Logistics, I do them.

i haven't written in a while

I felt like I was totally out of my elements today. Figured I'll try to convey it. I feel all icky all day, maybe I should have showered in the morning. In fact, maybe I should go do that after I post. My contacts are dry. My desk is randomly messy. Not too cluttered, just random crap at various spots. It felt like a good idea to go shopping today for some odd reason. I avoided the paper source like I wanted to at first. Well ok let me rewind.

I got up, at a bowl of oatmeal, and went to school. School was more bleh as usual. I was hungry the whole time. It didn't help that my classmate next to me kept saying she was starving. I kept my mind busy with what I should have for lunch. I was trying to decide between a bratwurst at the good hot dog place, boba and some fried food, or the burger place I've been meaning to go at Santana Row. My mind was pretty much set. Custom burger really sounded good, and I could hit Paper Source for random goodies. Then I walked into the elevator with another classmate and he decided I should go to lunch with him. I'm actually not that friendly of a person. I always come up with some excuse not to do things with people. Mediocre bento box and a good conversation is hard to find. Well the good conversation that is. I had to go get a birthday present. Lord how much I love gift cards. Picked up a couple of clearance scrappy things. I got a couple of packs of Cropper Hopper page planners. I really believe in organization. Now that if I get around to do it. There's so much to do.

My horoscope tells me this today:
"You may be required to work hard for the next several weeks, but you are willing because the stakes are high. Unfortunately, you don't necessarily feel like pushing yourself today, even if there is a lot to do. You prefer to reserve your energy for later on when you might need it. Go ahead and glide through the day if you can, but don't put off your tasks for too long."

It's so true. I just don't feel like doing anything at all. It's like an out of body experience or something.

Now I have to prep for dinner.

Why can't I seem to get my head together lately?

I figured out how to take black and white pictures recently. I want to do it more.

Mute Math - Typical

looks like my piggie....

Jimmy Kimmels Response to Matt and Sarah

just get on with it

One of the things that annoy the most is people whining about school. I am taking a pretty heavy load by all standards so I can speak about it. I took a quiz this morning in my strategic management class. It was a little like a midterm. Four definitions and a small case study. How hard is this? Not really. Do you have to study much for it if you paid attention in class? Not at all. I was annoyed that people were bitching about it after the fact. It was a waste of time and I don't think it was necessary for my professor to explain herself. I thought it was a good quiz, and that's by my lazy-ass standards. How do you people solve problems when you get a real job?

I parked next to one of these today

Yeah I still want it.

long days....

school has been long... I don't know why... I'm not too stressed but it just drags a little... *shrug*

my window is open

It's been a long time since I opened my window. This winter is long. I'm trying to do things differently this time around. I'm tired of feeling stale.

I had a meeting at work this morning. It was probably the most productive meeting I've ever been to. Half the people were painting the room, and I lead the other half into a crop session. That's right. Cropping. I think we ended with with about 8 layouts this morning. In two hours. We're pretty efficient. It's funny I have all the material in my room. The good stuff. And I've only done two layouts. I don't know what holds me back. Having other people make them and encouraging them is fun. They were reluctant at first, didn't know what to do. I just told them, there's no right answer, just put down what you feel is good. They did. And it turned out great. How come nobody ever really said that to me before? I feel like I don't have that sort of encouragement. I always want to do things the "right" way, and I end up not working on it at all. I tried to be a perfectionist, and I give up when I can't get it perfect.

Having done something and learn from it is better then not doing it at all.

Health Surcharge

This little ACLU video showed a couple of things. 1) The convergence of technology increasingly infringes on personal privacy and liberty. 2) User interface will be equally as bad or worse in the future.

read more | digg story

Danish Police Befuddled by 1G iMac

LMAOROFLLOL.... What's a computer?! no way!

read more | digg story

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

This issue was on This American Life a while back. A flotilla of garbage in the middle of nowhere. Imagine traveling to the end of the world and end up at the garbage pit of the world. It's sad. Makes me want to recycle.

read more | digg story

Arabic T Shirt = back of the plane for you!

So a reporter from Iraq decided to wear a t-shirt that has Arabic on it. He was promptly assigned a seat as far away from the cockpit as possible and was insulted. So does that mean when I wear a Chinese t-shirt mothers have to pull their kids away from me because they think I'll give them lead filled toys? This is ridiculous. Anti-Americanism. We earned it.

read more | digg story

Lieberman Has “Superdelegate” Status Stripped

Aaahhh... Zig-Zag Zell comes back to haunt Lieberman.... Sad really. I really would rather Lieberman keep his status. Not all people who looks across the isle backs complete idiots. Unfortunately this is one of the few places where these zealots sees in black and white and nothing in between.

read more | digg story

How To Solve A Rubik's Cube!

"This instructable will teach YOU how to solve a Rubik's cube!I will also teach you algorithms that will enable you to make your cube "pretty", which will impress people!"

Oh this works... very well.... I'm addicted....

read more | digg story

NM Official Kept Uncounted Ballox Boxes at Home Overnight

"200 Vote Margin Currently Seen in New Mexico's Democratic Caucus! 17,000 Voters Forced to Vote on Provisional Ballots After Being Dropped from Registration Rolls 'Maintained' by SoS and Voting Machine Company, ES&S."

yeah... that was bound to happen....

read more | digg story

Product (RED): $100 Million Spent, $18 Million Raised

"Product (RED) - Amount spent on advertising: $100 million. Amount raised for AIDS: $18 million."

I sell it, I wear it =p Good?

read more | digg story

and as Jon said....

They made history by putting the stupidest shit on air ever. So apparently there was this feud thing between Colbert, Conan and Stewart. I couldn't help but to download all three shows on the night of 2/4/08.... The fight went on from show to show... it was pretty awesome and ridiculously stupid at the same time. I'm still waiting for the day when Chuck Norris comes back to kick Conan's ass again... There's a reason to that.... since Chuck Norris CAN NOT be made, none of those guys can claim they made anything at all....

read more | digg story

why I look forward to thursdays... or any other day for that matter....

Thursdays I have a pretty bad class schedule actually. Class at 10:30 for an hour and a half and then another class at 3 for about 3 hours. Not only that, I have to get on campus about 2 hours early to find parking. I look forward to it because it forces me to create time. I have two hours in the morning and three hours in the afternoon. I have an upper and a lower bound, and I have to fill it with something. Granted I always spend a huge chunk of time everyday messing around with my site and look through random things online (thanks google reader and digg), but what else have I got to do? Homework and such. I've created another habit of late. This is the one day I need to have lunch on campus. All the other days I can dine at home. This is downtown San Jose. I have a three hour lunch. That adds up to me trying to find a nicer place to eat. Funny thing is I always find myself at Cafe Pomegranate week after week. If I can find something just as healthy and at a sit-down dining venue, I probably would be there. But every time I walk by the smell of kabobs lures me in.... It's a habit I'm not interested in shaking.

happy new year

Yeah I know we're a week into February, but most people forget I'm Chinese. So celebrate my new year dammit!

I made a few changes to the site. Took out some outdated links, added new ones, put in more ads so I can make a nickel a month.

So what else... oh yeah, I'm at school two hours before class so I can find parking. Good times, no? Feels like a Friday, but it's only Thursday. Suppose I should try to get some work done anyway.

One of my potential assignments for one of my classes is to make a blog.... so um.... there you go. =p

I can hear now....

So I went into work on Friday and I happened upon a pair of tickets for Foo Fighters. I'm not going into details, but it's unexpected to say the least, and I owe people some favors. Good thing I have a couple of Starbucks cards with sufficient balance.

I'm glad I decided to fill up the tank on Tuesday, it was very helpful. The trek up to Oakland isn't very far, but the traffic was bleh... Plus it was dark and rainy... not a very good combination.

I had very good seats, well it was a box, so it was pretty damn good. Food and drinks were provided, but the thing I'm most impressed about was the private bathroom. Oh man... if you've ever been to a concert with a couple of beers in you.... you know what I mean....

It was a very fun time indeed. It was one of the most entertaining concerts I've been to. I knew pretty much every song, even the new stuff. They played all my favorites all the way back to my high school days... that's a while back. The stage was across the arena, and there was a catwalk all the way down the center where the mosh pit usually would be (it was split in two). Dave Grohl would run up and down the catwalk, that was pretty cool. I have a couple of photos of that. When it came to the acoustic set, they lowered a circular platform in the middle, and played in the middle of the arena. Which makes my seats even better. Have you ever heard a triangle solo? We did, and it rocked.

I suggest watching the Long Road To Ruin video. See that tshirt the girls are wearing? I almost got one of those. lol.... I got this one instead, with the tour locations on the back.

The Super Foo Fighters Post

Still trying to recover my hearing....
Too tired to explain now... enjoy the pics and vids....




















Everlong


Learn To Fly (1)


Learn To Fly (2)


My Hero

so this is where you should start to have your own ideas

Referring to the class I had this morning. It is another one of those capstone courses where you're suppose to take all the book stuff you've learned in the last few years and apply them to real companies. I had some real life experience I can throw in there, which is cool. I mentioned something that the company we are studying is doing... and people just went along with it. Here's the thing, it's great that Dell went ahead and started selling retail to try to gain back some market shares, but it doesn't mean it's a good place to expand on. Here are a few reasons:

1) look at what happened to Gateway. There needs to be a capability to have a solution and deliver it. Gateway tried it and failed, look where they are now.

2) It's a good thing they started selling at BBY. It gives them direct comparison with the products in the same category. People get to play with it. People get to pick it up right away. They don't need to build an infrastructure for it, it is already there in BBY. True they are adding a middleman in this business and cuts into profit, but that's not the goal here. The goal here is to build brand equity. There are different things that builds up a competitive advantage. This is not part of their core business, it is merely an outlet to capture those people who walks in every fricking week and ask... do you have any Dells?

3) Going retail goes against the company strategy. Going retail means having a much higher turnover time and depreciation of inventory that does not sell. This erodes on the one month inventory lead time that it has over its competition.

So those are my two-cents. I got so tired to listening to people in class today. I don't mind giving other people a chance to talk in class, but if they're not prepared and contribute to a conversation that has some substance to it, stop wasting my time. Anyway.... learning process I guess. I think I'll be walking over a lot of people in the work place. I have my ideas, I prepare, and I assert them. It works, try it sometime. =p

The Gore-Powell ticket....

Yeah, I wish. Wouldn't that be a cool thing? Hell I would even campaign for that. Out of my incredibly busy schedule I will find time to help make it happen. I kid you not. But hell... that'll never happen... So this is yet another fairly depressing election. I decided not to vote for the primary. Honestly I don't really like anyone in particular right now. I heard on the radio or maybe it was the TV this morning something I've been saying for a while. I think it's awesome we have a black man running. Notice I didn't say "african american", I said black. After all I don't say "female american" for the other candidate. I'm tired of this politically correct bullshit. Anyway, point is, somebody mentioned it's great that he talks about hope and change and move forward and some such... but where is the substance? I don't see any of that, it's actually a little depressing. I was watching the news this morning and there was yet another investigative report. So what if Hillary was the board of Walmart. People are so fricking hypocritical. This company is successful because it has a clear vision and great execution. People may not agree with they way they run the business, but hey, it's the 10th(?) largest economy in the WORLD by itself, and there are great reasons for that. People want to turn the board member thing against her. I think that's a more or less desperate move. The roles of unions are getting more and more marginalized. The AFL/CIO does not hold as much power then it did before. The whole reason to have a union is to gain bargaining power. With the advance of information technology, people are more and more aware of the rights they have when it comes to employment. With the exception of the SEIU, the union is becoming obsolete. I starting to not like watching the news.

Anyway, I had too much coffee this morning I think. It's not even 9 in the morning and I'm sitting in the union ranting. I have a pretty damn good reason for it. I got up early so I can find parking. It took me 5 minutes instead of my 45 minutes then ending up at park-and-ride like Tuesday. It's not that bad, it's actually about 45 later then I had to get up last semester, and I get to eat before I head out. I think I'll have to do that from now on. Ah well.

I got all of my classes. This semester I'm only taking 15 unites. Yeah I said only. I took 18 last semester. But I think there's actually going to be more work this semester, seeing they're mostly capstone seminars. Did I mention those are the last classes I need to take? Yeah it looks like I get to walk this May.

I honestly don't know what I want to do after this. I just want to put my head down and get done with it.

The new-ish Foo Fighters album is pretty good. I finally got around to listen to it. I wish they were going to play closer then Oakland. I would have gotten tickets for it.

ah yes, school and stuff

So this week was the first week of school. Well technically half week because it didn't start until Wednesday. It has been all kinds of suck. I have 3 classes I need to add into, and one of them I'm not even sure if there will be enough room. So yeah. Good times. I'm just not going to worry about it now, nothing I can do at the moment. I will most likely get into the classes I need. So yeah.... frustrating, but it will happen.

I did a fun little quiz thing on ABC News last night. It's a match-o-matic on ideology. So who are my top 3 candidates for this election? Biden, Dodd, and Hilary. Imagine that. I just find it amusing.

I think I got somebody at work in trouble today. I felt kind of bad about it for a bit. He's a nice kid and all. But when you sell 19 computers/printers with no service plans at all, and you tell me you didn't really try, I don't think I should feel too guilty about it. One of the managers said he needs to talk to him, another one got upset enough to want to see a write up. That comes at a bad time because he just applied for a leadership position. This gets me thinking. Am I out to get people that is actually nice to me? I feel like I'm out there to hinder somebody's career. He has a lot more to lose then I do. Maybe this is my way to try to push him to do better. I don't know. Maybe I like to put people down. I'm sadistic like that. Maybe I just felt obligated. I know it was the right thing to do. I didn't actually point out that particular shortfall. It stands out by itself. It is something I had to show those people anyway and they had been asking for it. Maybe that is where ethics and loyalty comes in. I tell it like it is. I do what I'm suppose to do. I can still sleep at night. That probably means I'm doing the right thing.

cooler...

this rain is actually a little depressing. I didn't feel like going out at all today. Well actually I couldn't have even if I wanted to. I was buried in my piles of dust-balls and "I have that?". I was actually productive today. For once. I wish I had the drive to do all of that stuff when I started my vacation... mmm... a whole frickin month ago. Ah well, at least it is done. So my bookshelf for current school work is ready, my whole corner of the desk is organized, my stacks of books looks good too. I got this in a state that I can put in a new monitor with not a lot of problems. I'll be so happy when I get that 22" monitor for pretty much nothing.

I thought about picking up a new case for this computer. It turned out to be unnecessary. Which is good, because I don't really want to spend another hundred bucks. I'm turning into a sort of cautious shopper. Which is good I think.

The subject of buying some sort of residential property came up the other day. I'm really starting to think about it. I am pretty comfortable right now, but it would be nice to have my own place. I refuse to rent. What is the point for me to rent when I live in a good location already. Saved rent money become house payment of the future is what I say. I'm just happy I have the freedom to do that.

I dug up my resume. I need to work on it. A lot. I need to send it out and find a real job. I should go to the career center sometime soon. I need to get those things done. Ha... look at me planning... =p

I'm cold. I'm on my rig and I'm cold. This thing runs about 30 degrees cooler then my last cpu. I lost my space heater.

I've decided to really tone down my laptop use in school. Unless there is something I need to look up and data to enter, I'll keep it in my pack. I find it to be a huge distraction when I'm in class. And I need to do well this semester. So yeah, that's all.

new rig

So I started cleaning my desk today, and went, what the hell.... I put my new Mobo and CPU in. Took a little bit to get everything working again. Well actually that was the easy part. The hard part was to rearrange my stuff on my desk. When in hell did I accumulate all of this crap? I rewired everything on my desk. I'm also cold. Why? This thing runs a helluva lot cooler then my old rig.

track it

so, I made a few changes to my side bar here. I put the tentative links to my new classes in for the semester. Put up the food and exercise plan. Made a list of stuff I do that makes me happy an the last time I did it. Put the link back up for fit day. I've decided to use that just to track my weight and activity. It's way too hard to track my food intake on it. It's just because the things I eat are too complicated to track. I just need to watch my portion size and when I'm eating is all. I set a weight goal of 5 lbs a month. It's actually a little low, but I want to take a little bit at a time. It's easier to reach little goals anyway. I went to trader joe's earlier and got a few things I think will help with my diet. I need to personally take control of my diet again. I hate calling it a diet. But I suppose it is for the time being.

I finally decide to really use my phone as a pda. I synced up a few tasks and my calender. I'm not going to be relying on it too much. I've see things go wrong with outlook too many times at work. It's not a good idea to put all my eggs in one basket.

mmm...

I have done just about nothing this whole vacation. I had a little more then a month off and I got nothing done. I feel tired. I've been so burnt out from last semester that I have been sleeping until noon nearly every day. For a month. Pretty bad excuse I think.

So here I sat for the whole month and played mindless games. I've been gold farming on WoW, waiting for my friends to catch up in level. I think one of them gave up, which is poop, because we sort of starting playing again because he wanted to. Now I'm 40 levels ahead and I feel kind of bad about it. Aside from the fact that now we have enough gold to do the things we wanted to do. Catch 22 I think.

The only thing I did that fairly constructive was to start my notebook to keep track of stuff I need to do daily. If only I actually use it. I'm sure I'll really start using it next week when school starts again. I'm totally lost when I don't have a regular routine.

My random work schedule doesn't really help me either. I don't think they're placing me in the most effective way. I really stopped caring.

Writing regularly is a good way to maintain my routine. It keeps my mind active. I need to do things to have something to write about. A lot of my writing involves planning, as if all I am doing now is passing time until the opportunity comes along to do things. Or maybe I'm just cautious. The last few days I had off I had planned to go out. Then the more I think about it, it all involved shopping. I had nothing in particularly I really need to buy and I stopped myself from going out. A friend of mine suggested maybe I should go take a drive or take a walk. I reason that gas is too expensive for me to take a drive and I had nobody to go out with. I don't like walking by myself. When I'm in the mall it's different, there are many other people. I don't really have many friends.

I had a huge list of things I could have done, but I just didn't feel like it.

I'm not trying to be depressing and all, I just want to look at this at a different angle. I'm not going to feel sad about how much time I have wasted this vacation. I can only look at it and think about how I can spend my time more wisely from now on.

I realize I am much happier when I keep focus on myself. One of the things that makes me feel accomplished is when I knock out things on my daily to do list. Those are things that are good for me. I should just do it and not procrastinate. See, more planning.

I finally got my new motherboard and cpu combo. I need to find time to build it. I'm still thinking about getting a new case. I think I might wait a little longer when I get all my parts. I already started backing up my computer. It helps a lot. At least I know when I mess it up, I have something to fall back on.

I need to lose more weight. It's been almost a month since I was last in the gym. I know I need to go. There is a wall of mirrors at the gym. The last time I left the place I watched myself walk. I've come a long way since I came home, but it's nowhere near enough. I know there's a tight and lean body somewhere in there, I just need to dig it out a little bit at a time. Just a bit of a run every day, and doing all my crunches would be enough. I'm trying to get out of the instant gratification stage. I'm seriously thinking about getting back on weight watchers again. Or something else to that effect. Funny thing is, I already know all the stuff the books and programs can teach me. I know what I can do. I just need the will to do it. There are way too many temptations here at home.

- 48oz water, dairy, supplement, fruit and/or veggie
- big breakfast: 1 egg + waffle/toast + sausage/ham/fake sausage, cereal
- mid-morning snack if needed: banana/fruit/bar
- good size lunch: preferably large salad, veggie soup + bread, sandwich
- small dinner
- light dessert: yogurt, chocolate, fat free ice cream, etc.

- 1 sun salutation
- 3+ miles on treadmill
- 100 crunches any style
- 10 leg lift/reverse crunch
- 10 lunges
- 5 push-ups

That's pretty much it actually. The whole workout shouldn't take more then 2 hours per day, travel time included. Food is a pretty big problem when I work, but I guess I can work that out somehow. See it's simple, 3 meals and 1 snack plus working out. That's all.

funny how i remember this....

IMG_0307
Originally uploaded by odrini

So it was my birthday this past Monday, but I decided to celebrate the night before. We went to BJ's just because I felt like getting plastered. Funny I held everything down. I had one bacardi and coke, one giant shot of patron, an irish car bomb, a cement mixer, some drink that involved hard cider and a shot of johnny walker, and as you may see later in the pictures a bit of hefeweizen straight out of the pitcher. Capped it off with a really sweet turkish cigar. yeah that was fun.

idiot box

I feel a pull away from the television. So what's on TV tonight? I can name a few things off top of my head but nothing is appealing. It feels like a big waste of time to me. The only thing I really watch now is the news, and that too is repetitive. I've been listening to podcasts and tried to read. Somehow that feels more fulfilling. I've also been knitting. Different patterns and such. Am I domesticating myself? I'm not sure.

bag it

So my buddy just started her own Etsy shop to sell some hand made bags....

check it out =)



Maybe I should start one too... on my pretty scarves =p

another new year

I'm not sure what this year will bring, but there are already changes around. We'll see.