hard work or something like it

new dwelling

looking forward to August

Pork and Beans

done

So now I'm just waiting for my grades. I have no doubt I passed all my classes, but there are always uncertainties until I see the final grade. Funny enough I don't feel any different. Maybe it's because I have been at this for so long I just don't know how to feel different. Or maybe I have been checked out for so many years I am as relaxed as I can be already. Whichever turns out to be the case does not deny the fact that I am finally done with school and earned that pesky piece of paper that seem to be so hard to obtain.

me worried?

I'm done with three of my classes. I already have my grade in the HR capstone class. I have a B-, which is the same as what he gave me last semester in legal issues. I'm fine with it. As long as I don't have a C in that class I'm happy. I think I worked a lot harder in that class then the last class. I feel like I learned something there for once. It's debatable how much I will be able to retain and use. But hey, a B- is not a C. I didn't do too well in the objective part of the final, but it was still above average. I did fairly well on the essay part, I guess he thinks I make sense on some of the stuff I wrote. So that's one down.

The one I took last Friday was pretty easy. I don't want to jinx myself or anything, but to keep my A in that one I needed a 65% in the final. I think I'm pretty set. I was the first one out the door again. Technology classes can be boring for me, but if it raises my GPA I'm all for it.

The one I took yesterday was on compensation. I'm interested in the subject but it's not the most exciting book to read. I think I'll get a B or B+ in there. That's still pretty good.

Tomorrow I have two more finals I am studying for right now. Well I will start in a minute after I finish eating. I'm expecting a B and C in those classes. That still gives me a decent GPA at the end. I feel like my mom is really nervous about this whole graduation thing. She keeps asking me about grades. It's getting a bit on my nerves. I understand why she would feel this way but hey, I'm good this time.

downer

I honestly hate it when people are trying to protect me overtly. Here's the thing, if you try to do that you're probably killing my potential opportunities. I don't want you to go, well those interviews are insane and you'll never make it out alive. Well man, good to know, what's the worse they're going to do to me? say no? Oh wow geez, that sounds horrifying. Or are you afraid of me yelling at you about putting me in that situation? Why would I do that in the first place. Are you that insecure about yourself? I'm not even saying they will interview me for sure. Just send my damn resume over and get it done. I can use the experience. I hate to have to ask somebody like that for a favor because he'll feel like I owe him for like the rest of his life. Oh and the other thing, yeah I know putting my resume on their website is not going to get me anywhere. Is it ok if I just put it in so I don't have to do it when they ask me to? I'll have to do it eventually, why not now and perhaps have an opportunity. Why do you insist on treating me like a fucking child. This is stupidly frustrating.

something different

As some of you may notice, this looks a little bit different. I've decided to streamline, consolidate, and make this a little brighter. After all the most important part is the content. All the links on my side bar are now on del.icio.us. I will need to sort them out further in the future, but as for now it's all consolidated into a few broad categories that resembled what I had out on this page. This way it's easier to sort and edit. Some of the list items I have moved to my Google notebook. Again, a whole lot more mutable and easier to organize and post. Speaking of posting, I installed a new software on my phone that allows me to post things to flickr, youtube, and facebook. Well they have a lot more applications, but I picked the ones I use most. It's nice to have because I don't have to mess around with my clunky email every time I want to post something. I suppose I'm really starting to embrace this pervasive internet thing.

Today is ridiculously hot. It's about noon and it's almost 90 degrees outside. Crazy. I had the air conditioner on last night so I could fall asleep. I don't think it can beat this heat. So I came out again to my perch. At least there's good coffee and air conditioning here.

looking ahead

I suppose this is the point in my life when I get all philosophical about life and such. I am officially finished with my last regular class, my finals are on Friday, Monday and two on Wednesday. Then I'm done. And I mean done, with school, for now at least. I don't know if I will go back to school, but I do want to go back eventually to just finish up my CS degree. I was so close. But for now, I'm looking at my final week in school. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I don't really have a prospect in work yet. I've been sort of looking and throwing my resume in a few directions. I haven't had any call backs yet. I not really hold out much hope for some of them, but it doesn't hurt to try.

I feel like I should have some plans for the future now that I have the time for it. It's like starting a new chapter in my life. I know I drone on about it. I don't really feel too different about it, but I really should. It is a huge change. Moving from one major phase in my life into the next. The next leg is going to be long but I will have more control. It feels strange to know that.

I know I should feel a lot more excited about it, but I don't. I just can't wait to get it over with and move on. I think to a degree I have let other people to dictate my life for far too long. I don't do the things I really want to do because of influence from others. It's a sad existence. I am not here to enjoy myself, but rather to please others. I know I do it whether I like it or not. I'm trying to change it.

Sumo Car Wash

another week and a half...

so close... and yet so far away

mobile note #7

It's such a glorious Saturday morning. Aside from missing out on the house hunting today, there's really no place else I would rather be. The art work at Barefoot changed. There is some very interesting photos on the wall. I want to be able to do something like that some day. I should take a class on that. Learn the basic skill and let myself go. I was suppose to go house hunting with the folks today, but I simply have too much work to do. It's not that I am really all that interested in a new house, if I were to go it would just be spending quality time with the folks. It's nice that they want to fit me into that picture, but I want to start painting a new one for myself. I think it's about time I start thinking about how to branch out. I enjoy spending time by myself sometimes. I had breakfast by myself this morning. It was still early enough to call it that. I am starting to get a little more particular about the quality of food I get. Buy local, organic, fresh. I want to sit there and enjoy every bite. Simple little things. I'm not the only one here spending quality time by oneself here. This has truly become my third place. It doesn't feel the same at other cookie cutter places. It's a unique identity type of thing I suppose. I am trying so hard to find it. I have been looking for a job. The ones that pertains to my degree (two and a half more weeks!) requires some time of experience. I reminded myself of something last night from a talk I had with dad a couple of years ago when I was trying to figure out what to do. I don't have to do what I get my degree on. I can do whatever I feel is best. I just need that degree (two and a half more weeks!) It lifted a weight off me last night. I don't feel the pressure as much as before. I don't have a job lined up for me, but I am not panicking. Maybe I am too laid back about it. I am formulating a plan of attack. I am applying to at least I 3 or 4 jobs a week. I try to look for something every day and just throw my resume at it. I am pretty confident about my resume because it is a good summery and I had a couple of people review it for me. I never gave cover letters much thought, but I have to write one for practically every position I apply for. I read that I have to do it in my own voice. I did. I think that is one of the many things that sets me apart from the rest. I think it is because of the amount I write that gives me the confidence in my writing. I think it really shows. I know I am the right candidate for every position I apply for. I have been working on a few large projects for school of late. I am usually the one reviewing and revising the paper. I have the leadership skills to steer the groups into right directions. The only hitch is I have to work hard and not be lazy. That itself gets m into trouble. I set a goal for myself in the beginning of the year, I had to ace a test base on effort. I finally did. It was funny because that was the time when I managed to finish a 75 min midterm in 20 min. I think the professor thought I gave up. I was fast and concise. He asked me if I wanted to write more. I didn't. I told him I know what I wrote and I actually studied this time. It's all there. I got 153 over 159... that's about 96%. I surprised myself actually. I really didn't expect to do quite as well. It was a pleasant surprise. Speaking of pleasant surprises, the Sharks won again last night. I really don't want to hold too much hope into the situation. One game at a time. Instead of looking too far ahead, just look at the here and now. Put the best efforts into it and hope for the best. Have no regrets about the amount of effort put forth. I think those are some of the things I need to do myself. Have a plan of attack, one thing at a time.