short

It's been quite a while since I had some time to myself. I tried to write some a couple of weeks ago and it just didn't really happen. So a little update.

I started work at Apple and I found a man. I'm working 7 days a week and somehow need to drag my butt out of bed early enough to go to the gym. That's the short version of it.

Things are coming together at a very rapid pace. I have to say that I like it very much.

roses

friday the 13th

A day like any others. I decided to give my knees a rest today. I think after yesterdays more successful run I deserved it.

I walked outside from work today a dusk. The sky was laden with a thick, dark cloud. Fortunately it wasn't from the smoke of a nearby fire, it was a larger fire in a forested area further south. It just looked so ominous. A red that resembled dried blood. The moon was red when I came home. In fact I am looking right at it. More clear now that the smoke drifted away. The first word that came to mind was "sinister".

A lady wearing dark scrubs with some frilly pattern interrupted my reading during work today to ask me who sang "lollipop"... Pardon? I reacted. I had no idea what she was talking about. You know, that song that has been playing on the radio? What about 3-6 Mafia (I have no idea if that is how you spell it, considering hip hop today...). Well ma'am I have heard of them, I'm not sure if that is the artist for that particular song... but I'm sure you can find them in the R&B aisle... What about Danity Kane? (ah, a bulb went off... I have no idea about their music but I have in fact heard of them) Yeah they should be down at R&B as well. Mind you, prior to her interruption I was happily flipping through David Saderis's latest book. If you haven't heard of him, I strongly suggest his works both in print and radio. A gentleman who I presume was her husband proceeded to ask a colleague of my of a darker skin tone about the song, of which she retorted by asking which version. Lil Wayne, she said, would be the artist they seek. Did I mention the couple was white? I know I am being stereotypical here, but these are the things I observe. I suppose I can't judge a book by its cover, and that goes the same for others of me.

I have been a bit melancholy today. Although I have not developed a taste for Sunday morning news shows, I do appreciate the works of Tim Russert. He will be sorely missed.

while I was waiting for people to show up....

The whole vacation thing doesn't really suit me. Not at first at the very least. I ran out of housework very quickly. My room I ridiculously organized. Well not in the sense that it's got a crazy organizational scheme, it's just that it has not been this organized since I moved back. So that is done with and I am currently trying to get the whole physical fitness thing going. I can attest to skipping more then 3 days for any reason is not good enough of a reason. I had a hell of a time te last three days trying to get myself back into the groove. Well I guess tat is more of an on going thing.

I've had this phone for a little less then two months and I am already tempted to get the new iPhone. It's not even the phone itself I'm getting excited over, but the new roll out of MobileMe that so nicely compliments it that I'm excited over. Alas, I need to be content with this phone for the time being, if the iPhone gets onto other networks then I can simply upgrade to it. That and I still like my rubber keys.

I didn't know this was one of my peeves is before. I think it's rude to leave your own party and hang out with people you run into for a good amount of time. But considering the example I have been given today, I don't really care. Oh and I hate it when I am on time and everybody else is running at least 15 min late. Good thing I have my phone to play with.

I have been having a hell of a time trying to figure out what to write. I love writing, but I honestly have nothing to write about but my boring daily happenings. I honestly thought I would have so much more time to just do whatever I want after school is done with. As it turns out I have no idea what I want to do. I don't have a passion for anything in particular. I don't have the friends that I can just call up and do random things with. I'm kind of at a loss here. Maybe that is why I have been dreading this vacation. There is so much uncertainty and I don't have control over so much of it. It just feels strange.

I can churn out tons and tons of words to post in this infinite pit and it doesn't have to mean a damn thing. I don't actually have the talent to create content I realized a long time ago. What I am actually good at is to facilitate these things. I started studying the whole web design thing last week. I figured it was about time I get started on this great website I wanted to make for many many years. I don't know how it will turn out, but I'm hoping it will turn out much better then my writing.

sunday sunday

I wasn't in the best state this morning. I think you can count that as an example of pms. I don't think I have ever been so affected before. My whole body resisted this morning to yet another run. I ran 7 times in the past 8 days. I have been working on my time on it. I got very close to my first milestone yesterday. I missed it by 13 seconds in fact. I really wanted to take the day of because my knees are very sore. They still are. My hip was hurting when I woke up this morning in an odd spot. No matter how I try to turn it wouldn't pop. By the time I got to the gym I already had side stitches. Did I mention I didn't even get the chance to grab some breakfast this morning? I was entirely resentful this morning of that exercise. I thought by finishing it I would feel better. Honestly I don't. I don't feel any better because I ran my 7th 5K in the last 8 days. I wanted to sleep in and not do any more damage to my knees for the next 24 hours.

I'm sitting on the patio and I'm cold. There are so many little things bugging me right now I just want to sit and not do anything. I'm not totally grouchy. I'm in fairly good spirits actually. It's just the little annoying things that are bugging me.

something different

As some of you may notice, this looks a little bit different. I've decided to streamline, consolidate, and make this a little brighter. After all the most important part is the content. All the links on my side bar are now on del.icio.us. I will need to sort them out further in the future, but as for now it's all consolidated into a few broad categories that resembled what I had out on this page. This way it's easier to sort and edit. Some of the list items I have moved to my Google notebook. Again, a whole lot more mutable and easier to organize and post. Speaking of posting, I installed a new software on my phone that allows me to post things to flickr, youtube, and facebook. Well they have a lot more applications, but I picked the ones I use most. It's nice to have because I don't have to mess around with my clunky email every time I want to post something. I suppose I'm really starting to embrace this pervasive internet thing.

Today is ridiculously hot. It's about noon and it's almost 90 degrees outside. Crazy. I had the air conditioner on last night so I could fall asleep. I don't think it can beat this heat. So I came out again to my perch. At least there's good coffee and air conditioning here.

sabotage

I know somebody that is really great at sabotaging relationships. It's sad really, to do that and not realizing it. I am trying to give him the benefit of a doubt. I get the sense that he learned interpersonal relationships through mass media. Often exaggerated drama. What he doesn't understand is, relationship between people is not always cut and dry. It's delicate and has many dimensions. Categorically sorting things in that is and what isn't doesn't work. It's worse when he tries to impose these ideas on the people involved. I can try to work around it, but that's because I learned to not believe a single word he saids unless somebody else backs it up. It's sad really. To not be able to trust a friend.

borders

I met a new girl at work this morning and we already disagreed on whether Israel is a country or not. Good way to make friends. I ran into her at barefoot. At least we agree on something. I should abstain from divisive conversations. I want to make friends sometimes.

discussions

Today was interesting at school. Everything was discrete.

I got an email last night from one of my professor that a group assignment was not turned in on Monday. Curious, another group member and I tried to contact the member who was suppose to turn it in. We weren't able to find her and our professor gave us an extension until today at 2. There were a few more things that entirely ticked me off, but long story short, she was very sick and was entirely incompetent of informing us of such fact. We took care of it and all is good. Now I need to throw all eight weeks worth of data into a spread sheet to see what has been happening. Anyway, it will be fun.

It was suppose to be a fairly boring discussion on how modern China effects the world in my first class of the day. In fact it was going to be so bad that my professor could not find a good movie to show and came up with the whole truth-statements worksheet so we would have something to talk about. There were twenty statements for us to fill in. We were suppose to work on them five at a time and discuss them. Little did he know that we would be hung up on the first one. It was a really huge and eye opening discussion. I jotted down a few things because it was a chore to get my opinion in. I think that's a piece of writing for another day.

I'm not even sure what I did for the rest of the day. All I know is, I walked all the way across campus to get a burrito from Iguana's. I don't know why I did that. I went there yesterday. Maybe their carnitas was really that good. I don't know.

barefoot

So I'm sitting in this little indy coffee house in santa clara of all places. This place is so unassuming I have missed it for pretty much its entire existence. I think that is the magic of social networking and recommendation websites. This place has over 200 reviews on yelp and retains a nearly perfect rating. I like it... I just need to try the macchiato now....

*edit*
The macchiato was ridiculously good. You see my banner photo? That one was great, but the one I had today was better. No roasting taste at all. Just plain espresso heaven. I can't wait to finish all of that coffee I have at home so I can start buying small batches from them.

some things off top of my head

I've taken a mental and physical break for the last few weeks. I woke up this morning thinking I want to sleep in, but why? I think it's about time I get my business in order. I graduate in six weeks. I should plow through it.

Standing on top of a six story building at 10 in the morning is interesting. I'm overlooking the city. The sky was overcast. I should have worn that orange sweatshirt I laid out yesterday instead of the skimpy blue hoodie.

How do you judge the character of a food services establishment? I always start with the lowest common denominator. A latte in a coffee house, katsu-don at a Japanese restaurant, carnitas taco at a Mexican place, pho at a Vietnamese noodle place, shredded pork sandwich at a Viet sandwich shop, palak paneer at an Indian place. These things gives me perspective. How good can the more complicated dishes be if they can't excel in the most fundamental parts of their cuisine? I want to venture out of the usual places I go to, but these are the things I want to stick to.

I'm thinking about getting some playoff tickets today. I have an hour to think about it.

Having the house to myself put things in perspective for me. My role in the household expanded. There are so many little things I didn't think of before. I had to go out of my way to get those things done. These things are routine now. It's just strange.

Bay to Breakers attire idea:
Back of my t-shirt: "I'm graduating in 3 days... FINALLY!"
Back of dad's t-shirt: "No more tuition... WOOHOO!"

writings

I was walking from one class to another today and I was seriously contemplating the viability of writing a two-page essay every week on topics I'm interested in. This stems from writing a three-page (double-spaced) essay this morning for a class. It was a mildly interesting topic. What happens when I write about something I actually have a strong opinion on? I am going to need a whole lot of prompts.

expedition

I spent Easter morning cleaning my car. About a year and a half ago, a can of sugar free full throttle exploded in my car. I finally took care of it. It will probably take a couple more cleanings to get everything out. I went ahead and tried to clean out some trash from the car. It was like an archaeological expedition to my past life. I keep finding random things that have been sitting in the car for ever. I took them out, put it in a bag and maybe I'll scrap about it.

schedule as it stands

lunch

Horchata, taco con carnitas, y taco con lengua. yeah you don't have to look that last one up, I had beef tongue taco for lunch. I finally made my way to La Vic's today with a classmate. It wasn't spectacular, but did it hit the spot. It was probably dumb not to get up early enough to have breakfast. I was down for anything. The carnitas was good, but not as good as La Bamba. They rely heavily on the orange sauce. Again, it was good, but not as addicting as some people have said. Again, it was a good experience, but then again it's been almost 6 hours, I should go make some dinner.

so I was crossing the street...

and my phone rings. Of course I didn't answer it, because I can't feel my phone buzz when it's in my jeans pocket. I'm pretty sure it's the layer of fat on my thigh that filtered it out. It was my friend J just saw me cross the street and wanted to tell me about how she joined the gym over the weekend. I think I've been giving her crap for quite some time for not going to the gym with me anymore. So there I was, having tapioca express and a box of fried food, plotting out when to go to the gym again.

I felt giddy tonight. I feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can enjoy things and not get annoyed. I feel like I've reclaimed myself. I've liberated myself. I feel like I can do anything.

Right now, I am going to sleep. ha!

"the beauty of doing nothing"

I was reading last night and came across this concept. It's Italian, Roman in particular. What the person said was true. I spend time and money to peruse entertainment, but I do not do nothing. I can remember a while back I tried to spend an afternoon doing nothing. I ended up in a little Italian deli and got a sandwich, people-watching. I browsed in a bookstore, not looking for anything in particular. It felt so peaceful at times.... but I was uncomfortable. I felt this guilt from doing nothing. I felt like I should have been doing something. I felt the need to accomplish.

I don't think I can ever do nothing. But I sat down and tried to think about what makes me happy. I promptly went to flickr and looked through my photos. I added more things to the favorites folder and did some captions. I love taking pictures. I love catching people off guard. Just being themselves. I rarely find good pictures of people posing. I took out my camera the other day and figured out how to take black and white pictures. I think it's about time I learn how to use it. A little bit at a time.

I've been considering working for non-profits. I'm not too sure, but I think it feels right. I might look into that. I think I'm going to put some money into Kiva tonight. I registered a little while back, and I want to actually do something for it. Microloans, they're interesting. I'm a little obsessed with recycling of late. Bringing that bag of cans and bottles to the recycling center makes me realize how much money we throw away at work everyday. Less then half a weeks worth of recycling earned $5.80. I also snagged 10 bottle caps, worth 30 of the 220 points needed for a movie ticket. This trash is worth something afterall.

I did some cleaning this morning. I didn't plan on it. I rearranged a few items in my bathroom and opened up some counter space. It looks right.

I really want to get back to scrapping. Thing is, I have so much crap, I don't know what to start with. I got 6 planner folders yesterday. I'm going to use them. I might start working on them tonight. At least separating stuff out into the other folders I got. Page planners give me hope.

I'm good at planning things. In a support position. I can identify and acquire what is needed for a project, but I'm bad at actually working on them. Is there a job out there where I can do that? I would like one of those. Logistics, I do them.

i haven't written in a while

I felt like I was totally out of my elements today. Figured I'll try to convey it. I feel all icky all day, maybe I should have showered in the morning. In fact, maybe I should go do that after I post. My contacts are dry. My desk is randomly messy. Not too cluttered, just random crap at various spots. It felt like a good idea to go shopping today for some odd reason. I avoided the paper source like I wanted to at first. Well ok let me rewind.

I got up, at a bowl of oatmeal, and went to school. School was more bleh as usual. I was hungry the whole time. It didn't help that my classmate next to me kept saying she was starving. I kept my mind busy with what I should have for lunch. I was trying to decide between a bratwurst at the good hot dog place, boba and some fried food, or the burger place I've been meaning to go at Santana Row. My mind was pretty much set. Custom burger really sounded good, and I could hit Paper Source for random goodies. Then I walked into the elevator with another classmate and he decided I should go to lunch with him. I'm actually not that friendly of a person. I always come up with some excuse not to do things with people. Mediocre bento box and a good conversation is hard to find. Well the good conversation that is. I had to go get a birthday present. Lord how much I love gift cards. Picked up a couple of clearance scrappy things. I got a couple of packs of Cropper Hopper page planners. I really believe in organization. Now that if I get around to do it. There's so much to do.

My horoscope tells me this today:
"You may be required to work hard for the next several weeks, but you are willing because the stakes are high. Unfortunately, you don't necessarily feel like pushing yourself today, even if there is a lot to do. You prefer to reserve your energy for later on when you might need it. Go ahead and glide through the day if you can, but don't put off your tasks for too long."

It's so true. I just don't feel like doing anything at all. It's like an out of body experience or something.

Now I have to prep for dinner.

Why can't I seem to get my head together lately?

I figured out how to take black and white pictures recently. I want to do it more.

just get on with it

One of the things that annoy the most is people whining about school. I am taking a pretty heavy load by all standards so I can speak about it. I took a quiz this morning in my strategic management class. It was a little like a midterm. Four definitions and a small case study. How hard is this? Not really. Do you have to study much for it if you paid attention in class? Not at all. I was annoyed that people were bitching about it after the fact. It was a waste of time and I don't think it was necessary for my professor to explain herself. I thought it was a good quiz, and that's by my lazy-ass standards. How do you people solve problems when you get a real job?