still the same

happy

I woke up a lot happier today then.... well... I haven't felt this good in a while I think. I feel lighter without that mental burden weighing down on me. Oh and it's raining sideways! wooo!

found

I found the last thing I ever wanted to find today. Well at least I know where it ended up. I'm curious as to how it got there though.

That combined with several other things pretty much signals the end of it. I feel a bit relieved I think. But now the challenge is to figure out how I want to handle thing without the rose colored glasses. I know I will be a whole lot more critical, as I should be.

There were a lot of random crappy things at work today. Very random. Very very crappy. I think everybody left with a frown. I even stayed a little later to make sure my friend was ok before I left. I don't know what transpired there, but from what I hear, I shouldn't even inquire.

consume

I woke up this morning with the urge to be very philosophical. Then I was totally consumed by the fact that I finally have the chance to shop at H&M. Vanity is great. It keeps me from thinking too hard. At any rate, I found that when I write in the morning I'm often way too depressing anyway. I'm glad I spared myself of that.

I still don't have a real plan for new years. Sitting around just doing nothing would be pretty good. Considering I will be working new years eve and new years day. Thank goodness I have a pretty big block of time in between those two shifts. I actually have the option of going out to do stuff. Not like I ever do anyhow.

The last few days had been pretty long for me. But I guess I asked for it. I'm happy to know that my bills will be paid. Perhaps I should put that one down as my number one resolution, spend less... way less.

It's been a few months. But it still feels strange not to have a warm body to hold on to when I wake up in the morning. It's funny how I have felt lonely long before that has occurred. It's depressing. To feel so alone. I guess having somebody physically there is something to be used to. To not to be there emotionally is just heart breaking. But I'm greedy, I want it all. Maybe I thought if the physical part is there, then the emotional part will come naturally. I suppose it was not to be so. I guess it doesn't go both ways, so I learned the hard way.

I think on some level I'm waiting for my prince to sweep me off my feet. But that's a bit hard when nobody sees me as a princess in need. So be it.... I'll be alone, with my most fulfilling days behind me.

Hey look, my writing turned depressing anyway. I guess the time of day doesn't matter.

i saw Gretzky, that made my night

that is all

move on

Life, as it were, should be about moving forward. In theory that is. I have created so many problems in my life due to indifference. Luckily I am fighting through most of that bullshit.

The one unfortunate thing is, I have reverted back to school girl infatuation. I forgot how liking (not loving) somebody can take me to such extremes emotionally. Which makes me wonder, have I really been in love. I've experienced things I would call love, but is it really?

How do I know if I love somebody? That I'm attracted to him physically? That I can't sleep until I talk to him every night? That I'm willing to spend my time to cook and clean for him instead of doing things for myself? That I want to have a family with him, and thinks that he will make a good father to my child? That I'm fascinated by his intellect? That I just want to hold him and tell him everything will be alright? (note: none of them has embodied all of the above)

Everyone I know that has met him has told me that he is not worth my time. I began to concur. And then I learn two more things about him. Maybe I'm reading too much in between the lines. But there is one thing. I forget that people my age comes with a certain amount of damage. Even I've been thrown around a few times. We come into this place with a certain amount of expectations and hang ups. We often put certain ideals on a pedestal. We often want the next one that comes along to embody that certain chracteristic. But why? It will only remind me of what I had, what could have been, and most importantly, what went wrong.

Love, as it were, is the most painful and time consuming thing in my life. I don't love Love, I hate Love. And I can't live without it. It's some sort of gross addiction. It is painful and glorious at the same time.

But all of these opinions will go away as soon as he wraps his arms around me and tell me everything will be all right.

Oh well, it's just one of those rainy mornings I guess.

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yhea you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

-- Goo Goo Dolls -- Dizzy Up The Girl

busy

all of a sudden i have a week where i only have 1 day off from work (covering is fun....), jam packed social calender (which i don't plan to fullfil), and people pulling me every which way. it's funny because this is the week where i want to just hide in my room and just do my thing. i wanted to tear everything out of my room and just redo it. oh well. gotta work on my new rig too. my baby's been neglected. anyway... i'm tired. closing, making an appearance at the mini high school reunion in my flippin work clothes, and worry about opening by myself tomorrow makes me tired.
p.s. stupid woman who calls in because her free napster trial doesn't work on her machine running ME and demands on talking to somebody else and yelling at me about not trying to help her does not deserve to have a computer at the first place. stupid people don't deserve to talk to me. and they should just die. yeah.

Insignificant

There is no reason for me to be depressed. I'm not really. But sometimes I look it. Some people noticed. I guess there are a few things that bothers me. Well there's pretty much nothing I can do about it. That's life. There are just things I can't control.

My problems are so insignificant though. Compared to the shit some people I know are going through. I guess I feel kind of bad unloading my insignificant crap on people who have real problems.

So I'll just have to shut up and listen. Ask the right questions. I care. But I won't know what to care about if I just keep blabing. So yeah. Just shut up will ya?

Shiver

You build me up
You knock me down
Provoke a smile
And make me frown
You are the queen of runaround
You know it's true

You chew me up
And spit me out
Enjoy the taste
I leave in your mouth
You look at me
I look at you
Neither of us know what to do

[Chorus:]
There may not
Be another way to your heart
So I guess I'd better find a new way in
I shiver when I hear your name
Think about you but it's not the same
I won't be satisfied 'till I'm under your skin

Immobilized by the thought of you
Paralyzed by the sight of you
Hypnotized by the words you say
Not true but I believe 'em anyway

So come to bed It's getting late
There's no more time for us to waste
Remember how my body tastes
You feel your heart begin to race

-- Maroon 5 -- Songs About Jane

Christmas?

I don't think I really felt it this year. It just felt like any other long weekend. Except for the huge amount of txting I had done with various people who were escaping their family obligations. I don't know. I guess I didn't really felt festive. We did get around to have a relatively big meal. With just the three of us. Not much else. Oh I should finish my can of wine.... I do love those little Sophia Minis.

My problem is, it doesn't feel like a celebration to me when there's no crowd. Plus I guess I did spend a lot of time doing random crap that I would do any other day that I'm off. Slept in, messed around with the new system, took a nap, do some laundry so I have work clothes. I think I listened to the total of 5 Christmas songs this whole season. Not really into it. I guess the whole holiday is a little bit overrated when there's nothing special I would get around to do.

Now what would be special is this coming Wednesday. I get to work in the morning then I'm going to a Sharks game. That I don't get to do every week.

Hey but there was one thing that went well today. It rained. It rained so hard. I opened my blinds and stared out the window for like an hour. Then I think I fell asleep. It was comforting.

Drive

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, aunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

So whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes

Would you kill the Queen to crush the hive?
Would you choose water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive?

-- Incubus -- Make Yourself

nonchalant

non·cha·lant ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nnsh-l�nt)
adj.

Seeming to be coolly unconcerned or indifferent. See Synonyms at cool.

I'm trying hard. Is it working?

The Sound Of Silence

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I,"You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

-- Simon and Garfunkel

weather

I love this weather. I feel lazy. uummmm.... maybe I'll go make some tea and crank up the music.

bad idea

I had a long talk with a friend last night over his new pink razr. He just called to tell me how awesome the phone was, but we ended up talking about random stuff for like two hours. He helped me reinforce that what I had in mind is a very bad idea. Finally somebody is on that side of the argument for me. I don't understand why there are like only two people that understands why I would have reservations. It's a maturity thing I guess. Everything has just been so confusing. Ah well.... whatever. I need to push it out of my mind anyway.

So we did get something clear. It's the shittiest thing in the world that I can't control how I feel. Gets me all out of wack.

hobo wine

This is what happens when you dump a crazy man in Africa for this long.... lol. Well actually he would have still attempted to make hobo wine if he's here. So yeah.... I miss Lyle's insanity.

My Year-End Coinstar Receipt

Number Counted:
Dollars 1
Half-Dollars 0
Quarters 719
Dimes 651
Nickels 414
Pennies 1089

Amt Inserted : $277.44

Borders Gift Card Balance: $277.44

I'm not going to run out of reading material for a little while.

A Beginner's Guide to Hanukkah

Courtesy of one of my favorites

Presents

It's two days before Christmas, I think I'm getting back into the spirit of it. I have celebrated Chanukah for the past few years and it feels strange not to. I think it got to the point where even my parents thinks I don't have any Christmas spirit anymore. I did surprised them a bit when they found a fresh wreath on the door the other day.

The best part about the holidays for me is presents. Not for myself, because lord knows I've been giving myself presents on a weekly basis, but to my friends. I came up with a pretty wide range of things this year. I never really set out to find any particular thing. When I see something, if it reminds me of a person, and it's not out of my range, I would just go ahead and get it. It could have been the smallest thing like a tin of chocolate chip cookies, and it would have served its purpose.

Yes I'm weird like that. But I guess that's my way of showing appreciation. Well that and seeing peoples reactions when they get something they didn't expect. So does that count as thoughtful or selfish? hahaha.... I have no idea.

work rant

I've been so spaced out the last few times I've worked I'm a bit embarrassed about it. There are so many things I should have done what wasn't. I don't know. I guess I do need to have a routine. It kind of sucked that I didn't have that many hours the last few weeks. Everytime I went in it was like, so wtf was I suppose to be doing again? Well I'm going to be working every other day next week, so that's going to be ok I guess. Down side is, I'm going to be working the returns/exchange table on two of those days. great...

I also have to admit that everytime I go in, my mind had been somewhere else. That has got to stop. I'll just have to block it out. There's no other way around it. I need to be able to seperate work from personal stuff. Yup. Done.

I wish I had more time to get trained in the precinct though. I'm at the flightdeck so much that I can pretty much run the department. Yes I know I can sell, ring up, direct, and answer technical questions to my best abilities, but I barely get to work on any of them. The thing is, I feel a bit useless when I go up to the precinct. I wish I was able to help and clear things out when there are things that needs to be done. I just don't have the experience. I'm very far behind in that regard.

So yes, I'm going to make a to do list before the next time I walk in. After all, I do want to be a more well rounded agent.

Talk

Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

-- Coldplay -- X&Y

unbearable

alone. waiting. silence.

a good day of relaxation

consists of...
1) rain
2) a good seat at the local starbucks of which i can view the rain from all sides
3) a double tall non-fat latte
4) extra chair to rest my feet
5) armin van buuren
6) thoreau, civil disobedience + walden
7) take a stroll in the rain and have people look at you as if you're nuts

You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

You'll never find, as long as you live
Someone who loves you tender like I do
You'll never find, no matter where you search
Someone who cares about you the way I do

Whoa, I'm not braggin' on myself, baby
But I'm the one who loves you
And there's no one else! No one else!

You'll never find, it'll take the end of all time
Someone to understand you like I do
You'll never find the rhythm, the rhyme
All the magic we shared, just us two

Whoa, I'm not tryin' to make you stay, baby
But I know some how, some day, some way
You are (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Late in the midnight hour, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When it's cold outside (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

You'll never find another love like mine
Someone who needs you like I do
You'll never see what you've found in me
You'll keep searching and searching your whole life through

Whoa, I don't wish you no bad luck, baby
But there's no ifs and buts or maybes

(You're gonna) You're gonna miss (miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
I know you're gonna my lovin' (you're gonna miss my lovin')
You're gonna miss, you're gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh (you're gonna miss my lovin')
Late in the midnight hour, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When it gets real cold outside (you're gonna miss my lovin')
I know, I know that you are gonna miss my lo-o-ove

Let me tell you that you're gonna miss my lovin'
Yes you will, baby (you're gonna miss my lovin')
When I'm long gone

I know, I know, I know that you are gonna miss

-- Michael Buble

Without women, Christmas would die

Stupid

Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes

[Chorus:]

how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see

love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you

[Chorus]

everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know

[Chorus]

-- Sarah McLachlan -- Afterglow

he's right

"patricia is scary, I don't want to be her enemy"

yes kids, it wasn't just the alcohol talking. if you piss me off enough, e.g. promising to attend certain events then decides not to at the last minute or just being a prick, then you have incurred my wrath. i may seem very forgiving, but i have my ways to make your life a living hell. it just takes a few carefully chosen words. and guess what kids... it has already started.

inebriation + fury = something nobody wants to see

remedy = good people + good times

i've often wondered

How does a person make me so miserable without even knowing it?

I was at work the other night and was just talking to a co-worker. Out of nowhere she asked, why do you look so sad? I gave her a blank stare and shook my head slowly. I don't know.

Something I was working on didn't go right last night, and I asked a friend, why do I even bother. He said it's because I hope beyond hope.

Maybe I don't feel whole unless I have somebody I care for. To love, to hold. And to love me back the way I want.

X marks the truth

Appearance

[x] I am shorter than 5'4
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses or contacts
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x]I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have/ had piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles. Dammit!

Family/Home Life

[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work

[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment

[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I've had my pants rip/drop in public

Health

[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[ ] I've been to Australia

Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships

[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged. (technically)
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous Oxide.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. (i'm better now!)
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I have taken anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide

[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Somone close to me has commited suicide.
[x] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism

[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] i own iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[x] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books.
[x] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random

[x] I can sing well.
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower
[x] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat
[x] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day
[x] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I believe in ghosts
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[ ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest

Last of the questions

Q: Is there anything that would prevent you from being fair or standing by your morals/standards/values? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
I would like to say no, but then that would be a lie. But then again I really don't know for sure. I guess there would be times when I cut corners or scheme the scheme to my advantage. But other then that, I don't really see anything that would prevent me to stand by my morals/standars/values.

Q: Whats the craziest thing you'd be willing to do/have done? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
I can't really think of anything off top of my head. But that would actually make a very good question for everyone. What would be the craziest thing you would like to see me do?

Q: What do you think your purpose is here on earth..why are you alive? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
My purpose on earth is to make other people happy. I don't think I believe that before. But I think the way I act kind of showed me that's what I want to do. Or maybe I just crave attention. Who knows if I don't.

Q: What toothpaste do you use. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
Who remembers.... but anything with whitening and minty I'm fine with.

Q: How many states/countries have you been to. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
3 countries, 10 states.... I think

Q: Do you play any musical instruments. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
Yup, piano.

Q: How would you explain sex to your children. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
The way Ms. Cartman did it.

Q: Your turn-ons/turn-offs. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
It's not somthing I can just list. I think it really depends on the person. If I like somebody, then I'll find something of his that turns me on. If I don't like somebody, then I can always find something that turns me off. It just depends on what I'm willing to overlook.

Q: Your fave curse word. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
Fuck. That is in fact the most common word that leaves my mouth.

Q: Book and movie you most relate to and why. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
Bridget Jones? lol.... not because I'm a slightly overweight spinster. Well not the spinster part anyway. Well if you have read the books and know me, you know what I mean.

Q: Age girls and boys SHOULD be losing their virginity. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/20/2005)
I'm going to have to say never. There is no SHOULD age.

mmm

now i'm even more mad..... maybe i should just crash.... god dammit... aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh

passive aggressive

am i?

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

I can think of younger days
When living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
But I was never told about the sorrow
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again
I can still feel the breeze
That rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow
No one said a word about the sorrow
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

-- Michael Buble

i knit when i'm mad

and i've got about a yard on a scarf already....

another survey...

Q1) When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water?
I get in first.

Q2) Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
Yeah, I don't know why though.

Q3) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences commercial?
Oh absolutely. And it's not the shampoo.

Q4) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
I highly recommand it.

Q5) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
Don't have any.

Q6) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
Every morning.

Q7) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Probably.

Q8) How old do you look?
My age I guess... or maybe a just a bit younger. I'm asian, come on...

Q9) How old do you act?
Mostly insane.

Q10) What's the last song you sang?
I Don't Want To Be -- Gavin DeGraw

Q11) Have you recently become a member of anything?
ummmm.... no comment.

Q12) What are your plans for the weekend?
What weekend? Oh you mean the times when I'm at work...

Q13) Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Usually closed.

Q14) Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
Um... not the teeth.

Q15) Does anything on your body itch right now?
Haha..... no comment.

Q16) Who's the sexiest famous woman alive?
Don't exactly swing that way.

Q17) Who's the sexiest famous man alive?
I'm going to keep that one to myself.

Q18) Does every family have a crazy uncle?
Yeah.

Q19) Have you ever smuggled something into America?
I'm pretty sure I have.

Q20) Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
Acoustic, and good at it.

Q21) Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
Depends on your meaning of good....

Q22) Have you ever finished off the popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom of the bag?
What popcorn.

Q23) Have you ever had sex in a tent?
Yeah, but it was so cold....

Q24) What about in a boat?
Can't say I've been on a boat for a while.

Q25) Have you ever dated a Goth?
Can't say I have.

Q26) Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?
Amazing sex of course, but I'll settle for oral.

Q27) Can you fix your own car?
I don't try to.

Q28) Would you want to kill George W Bush yourself if you were guaranteed to get away with it?
No Comment *cough cough*

Q29) Should guys wear pink?
Yeah sure.

issue

i have a bit of a control issue. just a tad bit.

no hot water makes me angry....

*sob*.... i want my hot shower!!!! *sniffle*

speechless

...

good days and bad

i think i have accepted the fact that i'm going to have good days and bad. i guess i'll write this one off as one of the more amusing ones.

had a fun day at work

except not....

between the total power outage, upset customer, working by myself, and guy with tons of stupid questions..... i'm just glad it was raining today.

yes or no

You can only say yes or no you are not allowed to explain anything ...

1. Taken a picture naked? yes

2. Painted your room? yes

3. Made out with a member of the same sex? no

4. Driven a car? yes

5. Danced in front of your mirror? yes

6. Have a crush? yes

7. Been dumped? yes

8. Stole money from friend? no

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? yes

10. Been in a fist fight? yes

11. Snuck out of your house? yes

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yes

13. Been arrested? no

14. Made out with a stranger? no

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes

16. Left your house with out telling your parents? yes

17. Had a crush on your neighbor? no

18. Ditched school to do something more fun? yes

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes

20. Seen someone die? yes

21. Been on a plane? yes

22. Kissed a picture? yes

23. Slept in until 3? yes

24. Love someone or miss someone right now? yes

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes

26. Made a snow angel? yes

27. Played dress up? yes

28. Cheated while playing a game? yes

29. Been lonely? yes

30. Fallen asleep at work/school? yes

31. Been to a club? yes

32. Felt an earthquake? yes

33. Touched a snake? yes

34. Ran a red light? yes

35. Been suspended from school? no

36. Had detention? yes

37. Been in a car accident? no

38. Hated the way you look? yes

39. Witnessed a crime? yes

40. Pole danced? yes

41. Been lost? yes

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? yes

43. Felt like dying? yes

44. Cried yourself to sleep? yes

46. Sang karaoke? yes

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes

48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? yes

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes

50. Kissed in the rain? yes

51. Sing in the shower? yes

52. Made love in a park? yes

53. Had a dream that you married someone? yes

54. Glued your hand to something? no

55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no

56. Ever gone to school partially naked? no

57. Been a cheerleader? no

58. Sat on a roof top? yes

59. Didn't take a shower for a week? no

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes

61. Played chicken? no

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yes

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? no

64. Broken a bone? no

65. Been easily amused? yes

66. Laugh so hard you cry? yes

67. Mooned/flashed someone? yes

68. Cheated on a test? yes

69. Forgotten someone's name? yes

70. Slept naked? yes

71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? yes

73. Blacked out from drinking? no

74. Played a prank on someone? yes

75. Gone to a late night movie? yes

76. Made love to anything not human? no

77. Failed a class? yes

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? yes

79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? yes

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? no

81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? yes

82. Thrown strange objects? yes

83. Felt like killing someone? yes

84. Thought about running away? yes

85. Ran away? no

86. Did drugs? no

87. Had detention and not attend it? no

89. Made parent cry? yes

90. Cried over someone? yes

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? yes

92. Dated someone more than once? no

93. Have a dog? no

95. Own an instrument? yes

96. Been in a band? no

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? yes

98. Broken a cd? yes

99. Shot a gun? no

100. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours? yes

the lmao moment of this morning....

taken directly off of /.

Superman 'Too Big' for the Big Screen

Posted by CmdrTaco on Sunday December 18, @11:44AM
from the i-always-thought-hal-would-be-the-hung-one dept.

Evilelf writes "The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge. They fear Brandon Routh's profile in the superhero's skintight costume could be distracting, reports the Sun. Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover it up with digital effects."


Profile view eh? so what... they have to "shave" it off? hahahahahahahaha.....

rain

it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. the rain soaked through my hair, drenched through my coat, melted my makeup. i don't know anything else that makes me feel so alive. standing in the rain at midnight.

happy holidays

Is it just me or is that a BBY tag on that guy.... lol

time to myself

I think I finally got some time to myself. It hit me a bit late tonight that this quarter was over. This strange feeling. I actually went through the whole quarter. All the tests and classes and all... I haven't done that in a while.

I did a bunch of stuff with a few friends today. It was a whole lot of fun. We have to do it again soon.

We didn't watch King Kong today. We decided we don't want to spend 3 hours in the theater. We ended up watching Just Friends, which I think was worth every penny of the ticket price. I think I found a new favorite (ok one more of my favoritesssssss)

curiosity and love

maybe i get those mixed up sometimes....

motivation

sometimes people do things i don't agree with entirely. in some cases i even take offense. but then when i look back, at perhaps the motivation, it was probably a caring gesture perceived wrongly by me.

hummm...

sometimes I do things that makes myself go hummmm..... what I spent the most of my time doing today is one of them.

76% Histrionic

"strong need for applause, gets angry and frustrated if they don't get what they want, likes to be popular, believes winning is no fun unless people know you won, desires more attention, competes for the spotlight, grew up feeling they had to stand out to be happy, gets attention through negative behavior, self absorbed, frequently feels envious, likes to manipulate others, superficial, tends to become involved with people quickly, feels best when admired, wants things done their way, used to getting their way, uses their looks to get what they want, quick tempered, impulsive, vain, loves to win awards, performer, entertainer, pleasure seeking, swayed by emotions, prefers instant gratification, self promoting, believes in success through appearances, wealth seeking"

lol... I guess that's why I write to god damn much....

dammit

why do people insist on posting chain bulletins. and what's with all those tragic stories of people killing themselves over the one they love. dunno why it pisses me off so much. guess i found a new pet peeve.

music and religion

This guy I know looked at one of my CDs yesterday and said, "Why don't you listen to X? You listen to some weird trance." Hey it's weird to you doesn't mean it's weird to me. Plus I really hate those mainstream bubbly techno. I need ones that are warm and I can drive to.

And yes, I hate it when people criticize my music and tells me what to listen to. Those people rate just as low as those girls who tried to get me to watch The Passion because their youth group wants them to spread the word. That was actually a funny thing. I was sitting on Dexter lawn leafing through a copy of Foreign Affairs, and they came up to me. I forgot what it was that they were asking, but I took over the talking. They seemed so confident when they came up to me, and at the end they were acting like a couple high school freshmen who just got schooled.

I don't rightly remember what I said to them. But I do remember being very logical about the whole situation. I do remember nicely explaining to them how I have my own faith, and I think people are entitled to their own opinions, and I don't believe in people who pushes their own agenda onto others. I think they took it well, for a couple of youth group chicks.

I still haven't seen the movie to this day. The whole media hype killed it for me. I remember being really excited about it when I found out they were doing it in Aramaic (well.... or some form of it as I later found out). I was actually interested in it as an artistic piece. But just as any good thing that may arise, people politicized it way too much and turned me off of it.

This would be a good place for me to wirte a thing about the parallels of music and religion and what not. But I'm too lazy to do it now. Oh well. Back to studying oligopolies it is.

my plan worked....

*rub hands together* muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa.....

some words...

fantabulous = fantastic + fabulous
funderful = fucking wonderful
fugly = fucking ugly
absofuckinglutely -- per Mr. Big in regards to ever have fallen in love

any more?

hum.... my vocabulary is expanding erratically

nice to see you too

I haven't seen this person for almost a week. So what does he say when he sees me today? Something to the effect of what in hell are you doing here. Hey buddy, nice to see you too. I'm here because somebody else called me in to go grab some lunch (who then promptly forgot about it). Would have said, "certainly not here to see your ugly mug." Ah well.... I'm not actually that mean. So anyway.....

couple of weeks ago....

i ran into a manager at the mall on our day off..... he said he was just walking around, browsing..... probably get something for himself, nothing particular in mind..... then I say to him, "You shop like a woman."

yes i'm a straight shooter..... it really doesn't matter how well I know you or who you are..... i call it like it is....

The Way You Look Tonight

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

You're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.
Just the way you look tonight.
Darling
Just the way you look tonight.

-- Michael Buble

que sera, sera

I guess I'll find out.

exactly one month....

until I turn two dozen..... i predict this is going to be yet another very bleh birthday.

dreams

I had a dream about work two nights ago. It was a discussion of what direction I am headed. Maybe it was because there was a discussion about my performance 15 minutes before I went to bed. That was pretty boring....

I had a far more interesting dream this morning. It was at a new years carnival. There were random celebrities sitting on a moving (side to side) stage. People can buy eggs to toss up to the stage (a fund raiser type of thing). I think I was obsessed with trying to hit Diane Sawyer on the head and I happened to hit the bonus target.

There were booths lined up along the plaza. The prize claim one is nestled about 3 booths from the stage. Turns out I won a diamond ring. A lot of boyfriends got disappointing stares from their girlfriends. Then I looked to my left, about 3 booths down, and there he was, working at one of them.

I've never seen him in a bright blue dress shirt before. It doesn't work on him. I couldn't approach due to the size of the crowd.

Some time had elapsed, and it is just about midnight. The count-down is about to begin and I looked across the plaza. I found him alone, cleaning up. I started towards him, watching his every move. A co-worker stopped me to banter when I was two steps away. I finally shake him loose and walked up to him at the table. I asked if he needed help. We looked deep into one another's eyes as the count-down wraps up........

then I woke up....... god dammit.....

random...

john: .... so I told them I need to do a john to john data transfer...
me: *laughing until tears came out*
john: the only thing that could have gotten me back was if one of them had asked "streaming or packets?"
me: *me crouches down laughing, slapping the floor in the mall, trying to catch my breath*

currently ----> *shaking my head vigorously* that's nerdy toilet humor for ya....

drain

Why is it I am so tired all the time. It doesn't matter how much sleep I have had and how little I have done. I just feel like I'm drained. ummm... whatever... I guess I should throw some more ice on my knee and crash.

Ron Jeremy is my hero!

He was just on ABC news talking about how he licensed his name out for iPod porn..... lmao.... what did I say before, huh, biatch!

heal dammit!

So it looks like I might have a minor tear on a ligament under my knee cap. I hope to god it's not my acl... cause that would be a bitch. So for now it's ice and ibuprofen.

Dear Chocolate Sunflower Seed Drops,

Damn your chocolie goodness... damn you all to hell!!! *nibble nibble*

p.s. dear diet dr. pepper, thank you for costing me only $2.50 a case and being my drug of choice right now.

A Letter To You

I just had the most wonderful conversation with a friend of mine over the phone. He pointed out a few enlightening things:

1) Just by pure probability, there is at least one person in the metropolitan San Jose area that wants to do me right now.

2) Hell, there were a hand full of guys that wanted to do me in high school. Just so happen I like the one that preferred skinny blonds. And that's not a very good basis to compare to. I'd be set if you have the asian persuasion.

3) I need to find a tongue ninja just like him. He's not touting his own horn, but he's a jedi in the field of cunnilingus (I'm gonna have to take his word for it, and yeah those are his words)

4) Men are denser then shit. No matter how much I think you know, you really don't know anything. Especially the nerdy type. They will try to quantify everything. After all, leaving my shirt open so you can look straight down my shirt was not for you to observe my new rhinestone studded black bra. It was to tell you to violently rip my shirt off and stick your tongue down my throat.

5) I just need to tell you how I feel. I shouldn't let one incident discourage me from showing my feelings. So I've decided to write you a letter. If you know as much as I think you do, then you know this is addressed to you:

Dear You,

I have been captivated by you from the first moment we met. Although I can look into your piercing eyes hours on end, there was an air about you that was different from the other people I met that day. It turns out to be intellect.

I had to know more. I dug a little deeper. I have heard stories about you. That combined with your interactions showed that you're one of the biggest assholes in the history of man kind. I also read pieces of you left on the internet. Which proved you actually have a mind of your own. I observed every abnormalities in your actions, and I found a man who actually has a soul contrary to popular believes.

So here's the thing I'm curious about. Why are you so eager to push people away. Well maybe it's just to me. I guess only you would know. I know my reason to push people away is because I'm afraid to have my heart broken again. But the way I see it, if I don't open up for a stab to the heart, then I would never get the love I want.

I know nothing is that clear cut and simple. We have a lot of hurdles to clear if my feelings are returned. But for now, that's all I need to know. Things have a way to work themselves out.

So here it is. I'm in love with you. Your attempts to thwart me have failed. I'll try not to wait for you forever. I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Santa,

I'm cold. I put on so many random pieces of clothing during the day... by evening I look like Carrie Bradshaw. Don't get me wrong, I love this dreary weather, and I know it's not your department to mess with that anyway. I don't want any particular piece of clothing either. If you have seen my bedroom today you would probably want to take a bunch of stuff away. So my point is, send me a hot man this Xmas. I don't mean an overly good looking man. I mean a man who will warm my heart with just a smile. Can you do that for me this year? I'll give you some of my sugar free gummy bears and a case of diet dr. pepper.

Sincerely,
Odrini

emanant karma

me: i think people at *major retail chain I don't work for* should hate me
me: i went in looking for a new seat cover... didn't get one... but i keep putting stuff in the cart.... then i ended up sorting through and pulled out most everything from it... then just dumped them all over the store
me: i feel karma bitch slapping me in the near future
him: lol
him: hahah

Melancholy

A good buddy of mine said I still sound sad in my writings. He said I still don't sound satisfy with school, and I'm still hung up on a guy I can't have. He hit the nail right on the head. But after being perpetually depressed for the last few years I think I'm in a pretty good place right now.

I have concluded somewhere along the way that I will never be perfectly happy. It is impossible to be in that state of mind. Well unless you're Angel (the vampire that is) and you have just screwed Buffy. Anyhow, if I am perfectly happy, then what motivation would I have to improve my situation?

I have a face I put up when I'm in the public. Not too many people get the full version of me. I don't think anyone I hang out with nowadays have that perspective. There are some part of me that is pretty private and reserved. My suggestion is a good bottle of red and lots of time on your hand. Speaking of which, a wine tasting trip to the local winery next week is called for.

A couple of nights ago I met up with a two high school friends I haven't seen in a few years. Those guys never grew up. I don't think they ever want to. I felt that one of them is so broken up by random bad shit that has happened he wants to just party for as long as he can. It's a little depressing really. Considering I had been head over heels for him all through high school. I guess there are some things I can grow out of. On a side note, I found a couple of guys I have rejected back then have turned into major hotties. Hey, whatever. I guess I've learned a bit of a lesson there.

A friend of mine came up with a formula to rate compatibility. It's funny how it kind of mirrors what I wrote a little while back. Too bad he scores a little low for me due to item #3.

I am naive enough to think that there is one thing in my life that has to happen in order for me to be happy. I need to get laid. I know I have an elevated testosterone level. Perhaps that is the thing that is boosting my libido. I know I have said before the only good sex I have had was when I was emotionally connected. But there is nothing wrong with a good fuck once in a while. So there it is, the solution to my problems.

Tookie

There's roughly 24 hours left.

I'm not a big fan of this whole hoopla, but I feel like I want to bitch slap most of the people involved in this issue.

I'm not denying that Mr. Williams has done some great work while in prison, but it doesn't give him special treatment just because Jamie Foxx happened to him.

I have faith in the legal system. I need it to do the right things. If the original judge ruled that this should be so, and that the appeals of 20 some odd years have not gone through, and that the California Supreme Court has rejected to hear a last minute petition last night, then I don't see a reason for Arnold to doubt the system and grant clemency.

People, this is not a popularity contest. Try to look at the facts, instead of following Snoop on something you don't understand.

As for Tookie himself, I would recommend him to stop people from trying to save his life. If the motivation of all those children's books were to actually deter children from violence, then he'll need to die. The children needs to know there are consequences in their actions. They need to know if they take another person's life and create a gang that is responsible for thousands of lives lost, then the legal system will come down on you like a ton of bricks. They don't need to be able to say they can get away with it because Tookie did.

That is my two cents.

pimpin

him: are you working tomorrow?
me: not till wed
me: why?
him: im workin tomorrow and tuesday
him: haha
me: yeah it suck ass
him: yeah
me: you open too
me: i work wed and sat
me: closing
him: shitty
me: come hang out w/ me and *omitted* on friday
me: we're going to *omitted* for lunch and what not
me: oooOOOoo then we can go watch king kong!
him: haha ok
him: sounds good
me: niceee
me: now i have a date with 2 guys
me: younger too
me: muahahahaha
him: haha
me: ima pimpin
him: hah ayeah

dear sugar free gummy bears

i love you. more of you must come into my life. that is all.

i'm only at 30% to this....

Hedonism

willing to break the law if the monetary benefit is great enough, likes tattoos, likes strip clubs, prone to substance abuse, prone to shoplifting, thinks marijuana should be legalized, not opposed to breaking laws, promiscuous, prone to cheat in relationships, kinky, likes to dress provocatively, believes pleasure should play a central role in life, can be crude, believes religion is foolish, does not worry about consequences of actions, addictive tendencies, more a night person than a day person, erotic, more likely to have been on anti-depressants, gets attention through negative behavior, reckless with money, prone to nihilism, unpredicable, self destructive

it's really too bad

i friggin hate dateline

There's a story on there right this moment about that guy who got a hand transplant. Good for him.... but it's creepy. Considering it was somebody else's left hand for many many years.... and this guy was dumb enough to hold a stick of explosives in his left and a smoke in his right at the first place. So it is proven.... human stupidity leads to great leaps in medical science. Yeah.... just friggin stop showing me footage from the surgery.

King Without A Crown

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my G-d, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my G-d all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

Bridge:
Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown
Thunder!
Let the blessings come down

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus

Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exhile for too long

-- Matisyahu - Live At Stubb's

current wardrobe

me: oh and my black rhine stone studded cowgirl hat
me: lol
me: yeeehaw
him: hahahahha
him: im not gonna say anything
me: lol
him: my mind is hella perverted today
him: lol
him: its hella bad
me: lmao....
him: the picture in my mind
him: was asain
him: cowgurl
him: and yea....im sure u can guess the rest
me: yeah i was thinking the same
him: hahaha
me: well but you can guess who i'd be riding

*20 min later, after struggling with myspace*

me: yes
me: i uploaded the picture
me: lol
him: hahaha
him: kewl
me: now you'll see what i said when a rainbow puked on me
him: hahah
him: ill check it out now
him: wow
him: lol
me: lol
me: there's ur azn cowgurl
him: yessssssssss...now the picture in my mind is complete
me: LOL
him: the dirty one that is
him: hahah

literary torture

me: why is he doing this to me?!!!?!?!? WHY!?!?!?!?!
*one long sentence detailing the various deeds he has done*
her: maybe he is fucking with you
me: you know i would be fine with it if i know it is me that he's fucking with
me: in the mind fuckery sort of sense because that would mean i'm commanding his attention
her: lol

A day in the life of a procrastination addict

I'll write about it later

cross

Yes, I know I don't go to church.... it doesn't mean I don't have faith. I don't believe in "heaven", but I do believe in being at peace before my last breath. I go to church only for weddings and funerals. I believe in spending Sunday morning shopping and bonding with my mother instead of sitting in church listening to somebody telling me how to live my life. I may have a few regrets, but I can live with myself and learn from my mistakes. I wear a cross because I am accustomed to it from my Catholic upbringing. It represents my faith. And it is pretty. So suck it, biashez.

first thing that came to mind

"sneaky bastard"

RIP Richard Pryor

"He'd learned somethin' through all the shit he'd been through. Acquired wisdom. Done become a philosopher." - Mudbone

on and off

simple, on = turn ons, off = turn offs, dc = don't care

Rides a skateboard: off
Dresses like a surfer: off
Dresses in all black: dc
Plays a musical instrument: dc
Sings songs: on
Is shorter than you: whoa.... way off
Is taller than you: just about a foot taller... on
Has chapped lips: OFF
Has green eyes: dc
Has blue eyes: dc
Has brown eyes: light brown... on
Drinks alcohol: dc
Smokes cigarettes: off
Smokes pot: off
Has brown hair: dc
Shaggy hair: off
Wears tight pants: ummm..... off
Dresses like prep: off
Plays a sport: dc
Has an accent: very much on.... European in particular
Works out: dc... as long as he's not flabby
Smiles a lot: on... but only when it is directed at me
Calls you just to say hi: on... unless it is way too frequent
Is a deep thinker: very much on
Lets you know whats on his mind: on... because I myself am a straight shooter
Wears eyeliner: off
Eye brow piercing: off
Lip piercing: off
Has Tattoos: depends on size, location, subject matter.... on
"Bad boy": what does it even mean? dc
Sense of humor: on.... but I do have a penchant for odd ball, off the wall humor that a friend described as "dry as the Sahara"
Shaves their legs: dc... as long as it doesn't scrapes me in bed

lootz

I forgot how exhausting it is to go shopping. At least the only thing I paid for today was for a half pound of sugar free gummy bears.... yum..... I'll be sporting some new fashion next week.

audience

him: thats some random shit you put on your blog
him: do you even know who reads it?
me: yeah.....
me: apparently you
me: creep

blast from the past

I ended up hanging out with a couple of friends I haven't seen for about 4 years tonight. Mini-golf with stolen clubs and balls is a very fun thing to do.

I think I finally got Guitar Hero out of my system. I sat there and played for about 3 hours... I think.... I honestly can't remember. I ended up unlocking all the songs on medium in one sitting. I'm done.

away

I woke up at 7:30 this morning, although I didn't have to get up until 8:30. So what ended up happening? I was late to class because I had to run back home to grab my wallet.

I didn't go see the movie with the group last night. I wonder if that panned out. I do want to see it sometime. The trick is to find somebody who hasn't seen it yet.

I haven't had any caffeinated drinks yet today. Maybe I'll go get some coffee after class. Ummmmmm.... egg nog latte. I can't believe I still haven't had one this season. That needs to be corrected.

Very very tempted to get Guitar Hero and We <3 Katamari. That means I'll have to get my hands on a ps2. Ummmm..... A used one sound really good right now. Maybe I'll stop by EB later to see if I can score a good deal. Or maybe I can just keep playing it at the store. Tough call.

I lost a bit more weight this week then last week. I think it's the amount of consumption. I made it to the gym only once this week. My knee is out again. I was doing so good. I'm finally pushing 170. It's been a while.

I did get around to bowl a whole lot in the past couple of days. I managed to bowl a 150 yesterday. I even got some pointers. Looks like I have to watch for my foot work. I am getting a bit more consistant though. I'm happy about that. I even got a couple of turkeys yesterday.

I can't help myself to feel the way I feel. I was looking at some of my old journal entries last night. I found that I have been feeling this way for quite some time. I am head over feet.

i r 1337

Why yes... even my hit counter thinks so.

firece

Few things happened while I was at the store yesterday that made me chuckle something fierce.
1) Realizing the work computer has the user log in "pwn Inc." There are now at least 2 iPod on display named "pwn Inc's iPod"

2) While helping with the iPods we heard a loud clashing sound from the middle of the floor. Upon seeing the sight of former LP man M., I made the comment, "See what happens when you let M. loose around the store? He starts knocking shit over." T. shouted across the floor.... repeating my comment.

3) Me still at the computer, H. on the phone, right by the POS, leaning over the counter. Lady walks up to me and asked have you seen H.? I pointed. She goes, "Oh! I thought that was a girl!" I quickly covered my lips to suppress a laugh. My eyes twinkled with amusement. The lady then launched into an explaination about it's the way he parted his hair made it looked like a pony tail, she can't see too clearly, she can only see his back, etc. Then "shhhhh... don't tell him."

X3

watch the trailer. that is all.

reconstruct

I know my grammar, spelling, and vocabulary is not the best in the world, but I do know how prose is suppose to flow. I highly discourage anyone to let me proof read anything at all unless they are willing to let me tear it to shreds. Case in point, a friend handed me a roughly 15 sentence paragraph today to proof read. That I did. I also took out a note pad and deconstructed the whole thing. I jotted down her main points, rephrased the sentences, and rearranged it. I believe it came down to about 8 sentences, more lively, and to the point. A whole lot of people are going to read it after all.

The written language is a wonderful means of communication, but only if it is used correctly. I have always taken the point of view of the reader when I write. I must know who I'm writing for. Every word I write is deliberate. In most form of writing I try to be concise and to the point. The one exception is when I blog. I aim to confuse and deceive. There are hidden meanings everywhere. I still know who I'm writing for. I just want to keep them guessing as to who or what I'm talking about. You know who you are.

frustration

It is frustrating when I want to get to know somebody but never get the chance to hang out and talk. How is it possible that I feel like I know a lot about somebody that I have never had a decent conversation with. I guess there are just things I have no explaination for, and it'll just keep on annoying the hell out of me.

liquid

I need to start going to sleep earlier. This week had been a little crazy. I've been running on sugarfree rock star and red bull for a few days now. It's not too bad, but I do prefer passing out for 12 hours straight. I'll have time to do that fairly often this week, since I'm only working for 2 days. I got like an extra hour and a half, big whoop. Although I do have finals next week..... Gah.

My head isn't anywhere in particular. All I know is time is passing really fast as a whole. I'll be 24 in a little more then a month. I don't really remember my last few birthdays. Maybe I've had too much to drink. I always ended up throwing some sort of celebration for myself. I'm not going to do it anymore. I shouldn't have to try so hard to make people recognize me. I don't really care anymore. I get tired after 2 dozen years. Maybe I'll just sit home and drink until I blackout.

While on the topic, I still haven't figured out what to do for Christmas and New Years. I wonder if anyone I know is going to throw a party. I doubt it. I am always the one to suggest and organize some sort of event. It's tiring. I'll probably end up doing it anyway.

I went to have a drink with a few friends the other night. I have a habit of chewing on my thumb when i'm a little buzzed. One of them asked me if I like to do that if I'm drunk. I replied that I have an oral fixation when I'm drunk and that is a known fact. Another friend started chuckling, which drew a puzzling look from the one who asked the question. She had no clue, and so he explained.... "she has an oral fixation when she is drunk. She has to chew on something..... Or something else" He repeated that statement at least three times before she started ewing at me and hitting me on my arm. The night got a bit more interesting after that, but that's not something I'm going to write here. You'll just have to be there next time.

I Don't Want To Be

I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned!
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situation-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be

-- Gavin DeGraw - Chariot - Stripped

new high

I bowled a 148 on my 3rd game tonight, that's a new high. My average was only 116, which is not too bad. That last game was good, I had a 2 strike, then 2 spare combo, then I rounded it off with a spare and a strike on the 10th frame. I ended up beating my good friend by 1 pin. I don't think I've ever done that before. Not too bad for being half dead with a sharp pain in my knee.

I've had a bit of a strange day at work. I do believe the numbers to be absolutely horrible, but at least I did bring in a bit of revenue. It wasn't a total waste of my time.

Ummmm.... I'm actually really tired... I only had 3 rock stars today.... not too bad for being awake for this long I guess. Guess I should really catch some rest some time.... I'll have plenty of time too, I'll be off until next wednesday. *sigh*

my lasts

Last Alcoholic Drink: a pint of blond in BJ's, sips of various drinks
Last shoes worn: black leather Uggs (work shoes)
Last Good Cry: can't remember
Last Bad Cry: bout a month ago
Last Movie Seen in THEATERS: Harry Potter
Last Movie Rented: don't remember.... I usually own
Last Cuss Word Uttered: piece of shit....
Last Beverage Drank: diet rockstar
Last Food Consumed: brisket noodle soup
Last Crush: I think he's on to me
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last Phone Call: one of the 3 geeks I talked to last night
Last TV Show: cnn
Last CD Played: Jamie Cullum - Catching Tales
Last CD Bought: DMB - Weekend on the Rocks
Last Annoyance: some people just won't listen
Last Disappointment: if I put it down it would be too obvious
Last Text: "get some more water and sleep"
Last Sleep: between 5:20 and 7:30 am... this morning...
Last kiss: hummmmm....
Last Ice Cream Eaten: mint with gummy bears from coldstones
Last Time Hugged: awsome co-worker, on campus, in between classes
Last Webpage Visited: some porn site, obviously... duh
Last Thing Lost: my phone... somewhere buried on my desk
Last Regret: I have a few, it usually involves me not speaking up

belated answers

I know I haven't touched these question and answer things for quite some time. I do promise to answer all of the ones that are currently posted by the end of the year. So here are some of them...

Q: What's your take on "Western" attitudes/values in conjunction with the rest of the world. (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
This is the one question that has tripped me up for a while. I wanted to give a long version of this one, but over time I have felt a shorter answer would do. I have been fortunate enough to have lived in both cultures. In many ways I am still submerged in eastern thinking. I suppose it's not something I would lose just because I have been uprooted from Asia.

The main difference between the two cultures is personal centricity. In eastern culture, people are more family centric, where as in western culture, people are more individualistic. As far as I can remember, every achievement I have made in and outside of school had been for holding up my family's name. Although my parents appear to not care as much, I know they had been relieved that I am the least screwed up grandchild in both sides of my family. They made it a point to not really talk about me nowadays I know. I know they still love me, but I know I've brought them down a notch. I'm just somewhat glad my grandparents all thought I was still the best before they passed. Yeah I know that's kind of harsh, but that's the way it works for my families.

Now that I have explained where I was coming from, you can probably guess that it was the Western culture that messed me up. After I came to the states, I did fairly well for a while. But I knew I had been unleashed. I started to put more focus on things that would please me, which is definitely not academics. The whole culture encouraged me to go and do what I really want. To tell the truth, I still don't really know what I want.

So I guess I don't really have a point here. I just wanted to talk about how the mixture of two cultures have messed me up.

Q: Who or what do you think you will reincarnated as and why? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
I always imagined I would come back as a penguin. And yes that was way before the documentary. Don't ask me why because I really don't know.

Q: If you were a man for a day what would you do with yourself? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
To quote one of my favorite movies of all times, "two chicks, at the same time". I'm dead serious.

Q: Would you ever go on vacation/a bar by yourself? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
Of course. In fact I went to the bar by myself last night. I don't feel there is anything wrong with it. I guess I'm just confident. As for vacation, I would love to go by myself. I can't seem to shake friends and family every time I go though. Actually the next time I go on vacation I would love to do it off the grid.

Q: Would you move to another country? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
done and done. Ok I guess I didn't have a choice the last time around. I still might want to do it. I'm really not going to make the call until I have traveled around more and find I place I really like.

Q: Would you move to another country? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005) Again, maybe.

Q: Would you eat a live cricket for $500? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005) No

Q: Would you ever "take a bullet" for someone? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005) Yes

Q: What magazine, news print do you read regularly? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
Newsweek, US News and World Reports, O, The Economist, Foreign Affairs, 2600, The Wall Street Journal, The San Jose Mercury News, The New York Times, The New Yorker, slashdot (if that counts)

Q: What hobbies do you enjoy most and why? (10/16/2005)
A: (12/7/2005)
Shopping. That's because I have a hoarding problem. Knitting, because I get something out of it at the end. Making "mixed tapes", because I always have a sound track in my head. Running, there is no better feeling then to be fully awake and drenched in sweat with a promise of a hot shower at the end. Bowling, more for the company then anything. Cooking, because I like to feed people with my awesome cooking. Reading, because it fuels my knowledge base and imagination. It makes me a lot smarter then my peers. Blogging, because I would like people to know I'm more then what meets the eyes.

pushing back

I haven't seen a march like this since the one I was in after Tien An Men. I guess we finally have a real test for good 'ole "bowtie"

babylon

What better to collapse a building with a self induced earthquake. Yay for engineering.

growth

It's good to see Condi bitch slap Jack Straw and the EU for proposing something that makes you want to smack yourself over your forehead in dismay.

huzzah for sexual deviants!

random conversation I had with a friend in LA

her: I think I'm some sort of deviant
me: how so?
her: I was with [omitted] last night and I loved it when he bit my nipples, hard
me: you found a biter? can I borrow him? hahahaha...... dammit why have I never found one
her: haha if you want to make the drive
me: you kiddin? I don't want to be the guest star... send him up!
her: guest star?
me: oh... I thought you wanted to share share
her: hell no, he had a hard enough time going between my two, I don't need your competition
me: it's not really good competition, yours are massive compared to my azn sized ones
her: well it still would split his attention
me: that's true... I guess the ratio should be the other way around
her: exactly, and I thought your new goal in life is to be double stuffed
me: you've got a pretty good point there.... hahahaha.... that reminds me of clerks.... chinese finger cuffs
her: Yeah, that will be your new name when that happens

hard to read

Some people are just so god damn hard to read. It really fucks with my mind. I sware to god I always see things that just aren't there. For example, this one person said something today that made me think that he did notice a thing I did about a week ago. But so what if he did? It doesn't make a goddamn difference. It shouldn't even bother me, beacuse I didn't say anything totally out of line at the first place. Friggin mind games. It's like playing solitaire at this point.... but it's a helluva lot more complicated spectator sport.

I am so frustrated right now in so many ways. This is exactly what happened to me in high school. Does anyone remember what ended up happening? It still hurts to think about it. I ended up telling him how I felt and got turned down. Thank god he was a gentleman. I seriously don't think I'll get that lucky this time. I'm just so afraid to get hurt again. So yeah... why am I still thinking about it? I friggin said I was going to give up. UGHHHHHHH! maybe I just need to get laid. I'm soooooooo contradicting myself right now.... aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh.

priority

There are a few homework things to do in every class.... I didn't get around to do them today because I was working.... then tomorrow I'll be working late too.... so what am I doing right now? Listening to Seal and doing a Su Doku puzzle. *shrug*

random qoutes i have collected over the years...

(from an actual instant messenger log)

SCOTT: I probably won't have much else to do.
SCOTT: Consider this:
SCOTT: I've got a PlayStation with about seven games.
SCOTT: A SNES with 15-20.
SCOTT: Quake III, and an SNES emulator on my computer.
SCOTT: So what am I doing?
SCOTT: Playing solitaire.

PHIL: I have a playstation (only 2 games, but both well worth it), an SNES with about 10-15 games, an N64 with a couple of games, a Game Boy with about 10-15 games, countless abbandonware games on my computer, a game boy emulator, an SNES emulator, a genesis emulator, and a GI Joe over there ------> And I'm watching public television because the girl playing the piano has neat shoes.
***************************************************
Your mother was a Hamster and your father smells of Elderberries. The Black Knight ALWAYS truimphs. Supreme executive power is derived from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
***************************************************
Please call me the MINUTE you start selling Anti-Grav boots. This is VERY important as I need to be able to levitate as soon as possible. Thank you.
***************************************************
A man goes to the Doctor with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear.
"That looks nasty," says the doctor.
"Nasty?!?" replies the man, "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
***************************************************
A moose once bit my sister.
***************************************************
What would Brian Boitano do?
***************************************************
"Hey! Who posted the comment that "Coral, when painted brown and attached to the head with common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer."

That's a Kurt Cobain quote!

Wow! I've discovered another geek Nirvana fan! I just don't know who they are. "

You idiot, that was Jack Handy from Saturday Night Live.
***************************************************
Now my geeky friends think I'm the coolest guy in our little corner of the high school. The only problem about that corner is the fact that I make it smell bad.
***************************************************
"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

-Albert Einstein-
***************************************************
Who's Peer & why did he reset my connection?
***************************************************
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, I had this whole woodchuck lumber company planned out, and I'd captured a whole bunch of woodchucks, all in tiny little iron shackles, just ready to start cutting down trees and chucking all that wood into a truck, when PETA came and shut down my operation. I guess we'll never know.
***************************************************
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
Sleep all night and work all day
***************************************************
Some may say I'm insane.

That's what the alarm clock said, and we all know what happened to HIM.
***************************************************
i run in circles on a daily basis.
***************************************************
Roast Lamb Shank with Balsamic Vinagrette dressing:

4-6 lb Lamb Shank with bone in ( stop giggling )
1 Whole Garlic
1/2 Stick butter ( optional- but, what the hell.. )
1 Lemon / Lemon concentrate
Salt & Pepper
Balsamic vinegar
Virgin ( ha! ) Olive oil
*******************************
Use paring knife and poke many holes in lamb shank to the bone. slice cloves of garlic into wedges, push into holes.( use at least 1 whole garlic clove )

coat shank with 1/2 stick butter, squeeze juice of one lemon ( or use concentrate ) liberally over shank, salt & pepper shank with style.( not flair,_ style_ )

Roast in preheated oven @ 325 deg. for 35 minutes per lb.. Check with meat thermometer, center should be medium / medium- rare. ( hint- touching the bone with the thermometer will result in skewed readings <- Bad Thing tm )

Remove lamb from oven and allow to set 10 minutes before carving. ( really. 10 minutes )

Drizzle lamb slices with balsamic vinagrette dressing ( 1/3 balsamic vinegar 2/3 Olive oil )

Serves one. ( okay. Four if you share... )
Alternate ending : Remove roast 1/2 way done, finish as per above on BBQ grill over mesquite coals... watch for flames, lamb is very rich ( it's got a LOTTA fat in it) and you want to put a drip pan under the shank, surround pan by coals, do NOT put shank directly over coals. Otherwise you get a blackened, charred lump of inedible lamb roast and no dinner....great pyrotechnics though... if you aren't a BBQ god- don't try this.

Alternate alternate ending- same as above but substitute dried grape vines for mesquite charcaol . Or use regular charcoal and add dried grape vine clippings soaked in water.

let me know how you liked it.

cmauricio@arrk.com
***************************************************
48.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
***************************************************
If swimming is so good for your figure, then how the hell do you explain whales?
***************************************************
icky icky poo ding zap
***************************************************
Have you noticed that if you take Windows ME, NT, and CE, and arrange them in a certain order you get Windows CEMENT.......coincidence, i think not!!!!
***************************************************
The people responsible for the titles have been sacked.
***************************************************
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
***************************************************
"They have the internet on computers now?!" -Homer J Simpson
***************************************************
A wise man once said, "There are no wise men, you fool! Leave me alone."
***************************************************
And one time, at Sys Admin camp...
***************************************************
Ok, so this grass hopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper looks at him and says "You've got a drink namd Bob?"
***************************************************
DARN IT.
I was supposed to be upgrading the kernal on our server but NoOoOoOo! I got distracted by thinkgeek's random quote page and kept hitting F5 over and over and over and over and over and over for 45 minutes.

By phb came in and said "What are you doing?" I said "waiting for /dev/zero to be copied into /dev/storage (which is a symbolic link to /dev/null) so I can finish upgrading the kernal." He said I was doing a good job. I agreed. Anyway, I think I should go finish the kernal upgrade I started a week ago, I checked the logs and he was moving files into /dev/storage. I asked "WTF?" and he said he wanted his files protected during the upgrade too. I almost felt bad, then he asks how to get our reviews out of /dev/storage since he couldn't seem to read the directory. I told him I'd look into it. I must make up a clever scheme to cover for this funny blunder. Damn morons taking initiative.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho - its off to drop the harddrive down the stairs I go.
***************************************************
You thinking what i'm thinking pinky?

i think so brain, but you wear the pink tutu this time
***************************************************
The best acceleration you can get on a mac is 9.8 m/s^2
***************************************************
"Is is just me or does the new cauldron look like a giant flaming blunt?"
- me, during opening ceremonies of the 2004 olympics
***************************************************
"I am not gonna eat shit just because they stop making chocolate!"
- regarding crappy mmorpgs
***************************************************
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. 'You don't have to tell me,' I said. 'I'm off the team, aren't I?' 'Well,' said Coach, 'you were never really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet, You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.' It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something was brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
***************************************************
So there I was. Naked. In a refrigerator. Smoking a cigarette. With a potroast on my knees. That's when it got REALLY weird.
***************************************************
Why does everybody say it's the quiet ones you need to look out for? I'm worried about that very pissed and very loud man in the middle of the street with a chainsaw and a shotgun.
***************************************************
It's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions, but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways only because of their race, you become separatist, and being a separatist sucks ass.
- Kyle Broslofski
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It's not the voices in my head that bother me. It's the voices in YOUR head that bother me! ***************************************************
It does not make sense. Chewbacca was a 6 foot tall wookie, and he lived on Endor with a bunch of 3 foot ewoks. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit.
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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
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Somewhere, there is a very fat and very naked hairy man jumping up and down in the shower singing a country song. Think about that the next time you ask to be omniscient.
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Who here believes in Telekinesis, RAISE MY HAND!!
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