mobile note #7

It's such a glorious Saturday morning. Aside from missing out on the house hunting today, there's really no place else I would rather be. The art work at Barefoot changed. There is some very interesting photos on the wall. I want to be able to do something like that some day. I should take a class on that. Learn the basic skill and let myself go. I was suppose to go house hunting with the folks today, but I simply have too much work to do. It's not that I am really all that interested in a new house, if I were to go it would just be spending quality time with the folks. It's nice that they want to fit me into that picture, but I want to start painting a new one for myself. I think it's about time I start thinking about how to branch out. I enjoy spending time by myself sometimes. I had breakfast by myself this morning. It was still early enough to call it that. I am starting to get a little more particular about the quality of food I get. Buy local, organic, fresh. I want to sit there and enjoy every bite. Simple little things. I'm not the only one here spending quality time by oneself here. This has truly become my third place. It doesn't feel the same at other cookie cutter places. It's a unique identity type of thing I suppose. I am trying so hard to find it. I have been looking for a job. The ones that pertains to my degree (two and a half more weeks!) requires some time of experience. I reminded myself of something last night from a talk I had with dad a couple of years ago when I was trying to figure out what to do. I don't have to do what I get my degree on. I can do whatever I feel is best. I just need that degree (two and a half more weeks!) It lifted a weight off me last night. I don't feel the pressure as much as before. I don't have a job lined up for me, but I am not panicking. Maybe I am too laid back about it. I am formulating a plan of attack. I am applying to at least I 3 or 4 jobs a week. I try to look for something every day and just throw my resume at it. I am pretty confident about my resume because it is a good summery and I had a couple of people review it for me. I never gave cover letters much thought, but I have to write one for practically every position I apply for. I read that I have to do it in my own voice. I did. I think that is one of the many things that sets me apart from the rest. I think it is because of the amount I write that gives me the confidence in my writing. I think it really shows. I know I am the right candidate for every position I apply for. I have been working on a few large projects for school of late. I am usually the one reviewing and revising the paper. I have the leadership skills to steer the groups into right directions. The only hitch is I have to work hard and not be lazy. That itself gets m into trouble. I set a goal for myself in the beginning of the year, I had to ace a test base on effort. I finally did. It was funny because that was the time when I managed to finish a 75 min midterm in 20 min. I think the professor thought I gave up. I was fast and concise. He asked me if I wanted to write more. I didn't. I told him I know what I wrote and I actually studied this time. It's all there. I got 153 over 159... that's about 96%. I surprised myself actually. I really didn't expect to do quite as well. It was a pleasant surprise. Speaking of pleasant surprises, the Sharks won again last night. I really don't want to hold too much hope into the situation. One game at a time. Instead of looking too far ahead, just look at the here and now. Put the best efforts into it and hope for the best. Have no regrets about the amount of effort put forth. I think those are some of the things I need to do myself. Have a plan of attack, one thing at a time.

mobile note #6

Funny how I was just thinking about consumption the other day. There was a discussion in class today about buying organic. Most people, me included, cited reasons such as feeling good about myself and health reasons. The biggest reason nobody thought of is sustainability. A sustainable way of growing food will ensure environmental integrity and food supplies for generationzs to come. So I guess that is yet another way to think about the way I consume. I already started some things. I recycle and I try to conserve water when I shower. Does it really help? I don't think so on a daily basis. But I do believe it adds up in the long run.

mobile note #5

I'm starting to have some issues with being a child of tis consumerist society. I am raised to believe that more, bigger, the better. This is not what my parents are all about, but it is a product of capitalism. We consume the amount of things we do because we are conditioned to believe those are the things we need. The latest gadget, like the one in my hand for example, is essential to my well being. I know for a fact that I don't need a phone, and yet I am willing to purchase the latest and greatest. I want to believe my purchasing pattern is discriminatory. I can do so much better. My issue with the way I learned to consume is the amount of waste I generate and other opportunity costs. I throw away an enormous amount of garbage every week.

The whole issue goes back to my consumption pattern and what adjustments I can make to change it. I recycle a lot more now then I did before. The man focus is on beverage containers. I was reading an article last night about how much oil it takes to make those containers and how they end up in the middle of the ocean. It's such a waste.

mobile note #4

It is hot this weekend. There is something about this weather that makes me want to be lazy. Unfortunately I had to work. Yesterday at work was not entirely fun. Today we had an early meeting and I worked through it. Meetings are usually boring... and this one is no exception. Making occasional smart ass comments actually helps the time pass a little faster. Two hours of sitting around and making fun of people is not bad. I think sometimes I have no soul. I charged close to $1k in revenue after the store opened and about 100 of which was cost... I was very profitable today. Sometimes I feel bad about just grabbing the most convenient thing instead of the cheapest. I don't feel too bad about charging somebody 550 for something that I was willing to charge 350 for. Yeah. People should beware of me.

I have been known to do some pretty silly things and have weird reasoning. One of the silliest thing people think I do is that I still use my hipster PDA. If you remember from some weeks back I made a little pocket notebook from recycled paper. So why do I still use it even after I got my crazy new phone? Because the pen will always be mightier. Even with a touch screen on this phone I still can't lay out a series of complex information in one screen for comparison. I like to lay out my pages side by side and draw relations on it. I will get around to put some of these things on my phone as a reminder, but it doesn't tell me everything. So I keep using it. It just make sense to me.

Sometimes I wonder if it will be better if I just back away and not be in touch with some people. It's so hard to strike a balance. I think from now on I'll just act dumb and uninformed. That seems to be the way to go.

I had some pretty strange dreams last night. I think I had too much on my mind. Things that really shouldn't bother me at all. I want to start doing some meditation at night to clear my head. Speaking of doing healthy things... I need to start to eat better, smarter. I am actually gradually losing weight. I need to really watch my portion size and what I eat. I gt into the habit of going out for lunch twice a week with a couple of my friends. I jus need to watch how I eat when I do that. The majority of regular spending I did last month was on food. It really shouldn't be the case. I had some goals this month, and so far I only got one of them done. I got an important one done. My resume is done, I started sending it out. I will have to see what I can get. The other things really involved self control. Things such as spending, exercising regularly, and plan meals. I need to have more decipline. One of the things I need to work on is to keep things to myself. I have a blog that nobody reads anyway... I may as well dump it on here. =p

mobile note #3

Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I don't feel like this is one of those times... but it may be best to stay away from some people to clear my head. I have 4 more weeks of school. That includes finals. I'm getting there. This is the time when I need to really concentrate, and yet I let myself to be distracted. I think I was happier a couple of weeks ago. I tried to do more then I usually do and was questioned for it. What exactly is my motivation for wanting to do something different somebody asked. I justed wanted to do something different like you all wanted me to. I don't understand why some people have to artificially create social pressure. Maybe it hakes him feel more important. It makes the whole situation repulsive. I'm already sick of it. I opened a few doors in he last couple of weeks, but now I don't even know if I want to walk through them. Fun isn't it. It's like going to high school all over again.

I found myself as part of a crowd waiting for the recycling guy to show up. it's funny how everything stops before he show up. They wait in a crowd. I have a ridiculous amount of cans and bottles this week. That is mostly due to the failure of communication. I can't trust them to get things done. Thus is life.

I was tired by the time I got home today. I was tired of things. Work is getting to the point where it's starting to wear on me. Stupid people, mainly customers, makes me not like my job. I think today was the first time I'm really looking to graduating because I can find a real job and quit this one. It's a great job while I'm in school, but I can see how it wears people down. I looked at a couple of people I know today and felt lucky. They talked about getting back in school to finish and do something else. But being in this job for so long just wore them down. I'm glad I had the luxury to have a choice.

mobile note #2

*If I'm watching Charlie Rose at 12 am... I have time to post all of the things I wrote today*

I had a moment of clarity tis morning. I'm not ready for another relationship. This of course comes with some 'but's. I have yet to come across a person that makes me change my mind. I'm not opposed to dating and such... I'm just not ready to settle again. The last time around I was heavily discounted and it made me apprehensive. I don't know what normal is like... but can I be wit somebody normal for once. I'm also done with trying so hard. I'm sick of carrying the relationship through. One of my best friends told me once the guy I should be with eventually should care enough to check on me every morning and night, and sensitive enough to give me my space. I should be on his pedestal and I should be able to not be bothered by his flaws. Maybe I'm being too picky. So far I have found flaws on anyone who showed any remote interest. Maybe I still hold a candle out for somebody else and nobody can compare. I have some very precise expectations. The bottom line is he needs to make me happy without annoying the hell out of me. I hate it when people try too hard. It's not hockey... if it comes naturally to you then you don't have to work so hard. It only pushes me away.

On a lighter note I canceled a dinner with my friend to watch my beloved Sharks pummel the snot out of the Flames last night. I was so happy they moved onto the next round. There was so much emotion invested in this game that I finally feel this team will come through at the end. It's a sense of optimism I haven't felt for a very long time. It's a tricky thing to support a sport team. I think this is the first time I have unconditionally be so passionate over a sports team. It's somehow different. I was going to make a post a few weeks back about how I don't get excited over anything anymore. That sense of passion slipped away from me. It's not true. I do have one thing I'm passionate about. The way I can tell is from my own physical reactions. I rock back and forth in anticipation, my heart rumbles in my chest, and I feel like I'm at the precipice of greatness. The last time I really felt that great anticipation was at my first DMB concert. Every song was like a revelation. Every note and every beat drove to the core of my being. Last night, 10 miles away from the Shark Tank I felt it. The last three minutes of the game lasted an eternity. The nature of the game is unpredictable. At any moment the tide can turn. There is a sense of finality to it. The fun thin is, whatever happened last night does not matter anymore today. I am looking forward to Friday when this process starts all over again. God I love playoff hockey.

An old friend of mine wrote a thing about the Democratic nomination process today. He wrote an open letter to Clinton. From what I gather off his writing is that the situation right now is a no win for the Democrats with Clinton still in the race. I too can sense the imminent attacks from McCain. In fact I am thinking now to just vote for McCain and get it over with. I would probably have voted for him if he had won the nomination 8 years ago. It is true that the war changed my opinion greatly of the Republican party, but comparing to the Democratic party right now it is much more disciplined. To tell the truth none of the candidates are appealing to me at this moment. I am still hoping for Gore. I voted for him last time around and I absolutely stand by that decision.

Two hours is an eternity to me right now. I spent the whole morning winding myself up for the test I had to take at I. I finished the 75 minute test in 20, and the class was supposed to be 3 hours. The last week had been jam packed with homework and activities. Now I have nothing. I have my phone... I didn't even bring laptop. It's one of those days where I get to spend the time alone without much worry. I probably would be content to be in complete silence but this playing a Beyonce concert that skips. I need to find motivation. I have to register for Bay to Breakers. It is a 7.5 mile distance across SF. I want to do it but I am so reluctant to train. Right now I can run 4.3 miles without slowing my pace. I can probably go longer. I come up with way too many excuses to not do the right things. Making the right decisions are so hard when I get to choose. I need to train and feel better about myself. Maybe I have too much self confidence to hinder my progress to make myself better. I am content. I also know I should be way better. So I need to find my motivation again. It really is a strategic management issue for me. I need to run my life more like an enterprise. I figure it will only make sense because I'm a business major.

I'm fairly happy with my new phone at this moment. The label is a bit of a stretch at this moment because it serves more as a portable communication device more then a traditional phone. I barely make calls out of this thin. The large touch screen and keyboard makes it ideal for my interwebs addiction. I use so few of its features, it makes me feel a little guilty about paying so much just to have mobile internet.

mobile note #1

Interestingly enough I have found yet another way to overcome the lack of true mobile support in blogger. I know my postings have been sparse. It's getting to crunch time and I really should be doing homework. I somehow have a way to always find some sort of distraction. For example, I am currently typing on my new phone. This piece of technology have wasted many of my hours due to customization and learning. Although I am largely back to my previous productivity (if you can call it that) level with a few new perks, there are still a couple of features I am trying to get to work. I suppose that is what my down time will be for. I do have to note that a larger keyboard does help me type a bit faster, when I use both hands. The keyboard is fairly wide.

The whole idea of mobile notes is a fairly simple concept from Google. I'm glad they put it in. I can now convert my down time to blogging time. Isn't it swell. I anticipate some sort of information overload. My intentions from earlier in the week was to use Facebook as such a platform. A couple of drawbacks are the immediacy of publication hence the lack of the ability to edit and it is simply the wrong audience. Twitter solved some of my problems with that particular venue. There are a million thought going through my head on a daily basis and not too many of them warrant a full blog to themselves. Most of them are one-liners. Twitter is built for that and it is not as stringent as the status update on Facebook. I plan to add the application on the blog also... this is the hub for everything about me afterall.

FB Note #1

going mobile

6:29pm Today | Edit Note | Delete
Uploaded via Facebook Mobile

I find this whole facebook thing a bit much. I use it, but I have to limit myself. I think it's actually easier to set a "note" from my phone then to blog on my site. In fact, I'm on my couch right now typing on my phone. I feel like I'm texting myself....

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