I don't really care about basketball

Which part of that do you not understand? While I'm typing this, you're talking about the game of which I did not watch because I was busy watching the Sharks getting eliminated. I would also really love it if you don't keep repeating your questions. I'm tired of answering your questions. I've told you more then I should have. And you are too assuming. You like to tell me what I would like or not. You don't know how I feel. I can tell you how I feel, and you don't get it. What's the point? You hear me, but you don't listen. You make too many assumptions. I'm tired of getting the same old thing. I'm tired of the people I know. I seriously have only one friend that I still talk to and only drives me nuts when he's being a smart ass, which I find amusing most of the time.

I hate it when people ask me about school. Just leave me be. Besides my parents that is. I don't care if they ask. Other people. Stop asking me. It's annoying. I get this little flash of anger when people ask me. I pause, stare at them, and check if they seriously want to know or making small talk or just patronizing me. Why are people so interested in if my school is going well? Yes it's going well. I don't care to be the class scholar. I just want it to be over with. And me with a piece of paper to prove it. Do I really love the things I'm studying? No. Why am I in it? Because I need that damn piece of paper to prove my worth for some stupid reason, and I've spent way too much time to just give up. Which I already did once. I flipping hate school. I still do. It's just something I have to do.

Sometimes I wish I can say, yes, I'm trying hard. Truth is, I don't try. I get by. I'm always looking for something that would inspire me. Something that would motivate me to do things. I need that extra little something. The last time I got a lot of things done was when I was just mad at myself. I think I've gotten comfortable again. I know I can do better. As I said. One extra little push.

Sharks lost. I'm sad. There's always next year. But what am I going to do for the next month? Oh right, finish this semester of school with passing grades. I'm not worried. I'm in a pretty comfortable spot. I'm just not used to having such long periods of class because of the semester system. It feels weird to be able to drag things out. Sometimes I think I would have done well in English at UCSC. If I can write a whole rant about somebody close to me and he doesn't pick up on it, I'm pretty good. Or maybe he's just dense.

I find it funny sometimes how I can write about almost anything on here. I don't even tell my closest friends these things. This is honest to goodness what I think. And they don't know that. I write it for the world to see. I guess I'm testing out a theory. I let them know this is what I am doing. If they care about me enough, and have nothing to do late at night, they can read about how I think. I've tested this theory over many years. About two people reads this on a regular basis. Some people reads it because they want to "catch up" on my writing because I mentioned I was writing about 2 seconds ago. People I know are shallow. It feels like I'm having a conversation with myself and I don't care if people listens in on it. That's more like it.