windows of opportunity

I was looking through the different shows I can watch tonight and a new show intrigued me. New Amsterdam was a show I was fairly interested in at the beginning of the summer. It never appeared because the big wigs at Fox decided to shelf it. From what I gathered they only produced seven episodes and probably won't go for any more. So why did I get to see it tonight? The writer's strike. They simply ran out of things to show. I guess even Fox can't get enough dumb people to go on their reality shows. But you know what, I'm glad I got to watch it. I liked it. There were some humor in there that I find quirky. How does this guy know so much? Well he's been living for 300 years for one... and went to a few educational institutions. I would too if I lived for that long. Anyway, I hope they air the rest of it. Possibly make more since 24 is getting push to lord knows when. Not that I've watched that for a while now.

Oh the other thing I liked was they used Your Heart is an Empty Room as the end credits for the pilot. How fitting. That got me to listen to my sappy folk songs. Had some Death Cab, now I'm back on David Gray. I used to say I have a soundtrack to my life. I think I lost track of that for a while. I don't know what it can be now. I'm not in any particular mood for any prolonged period of time. I have a tendency to go back to things that takes me back. It's a mental connection thing. I'm looking through my collection again. It's the experience factor. What music do to me so that it draws out emotions and make me recall events and link them all together. Is that how memory works? I know that's how a romantic comedy works.

I told my friend to remind me of what I said if I ever express an interest in teaching English. Reading other people's papers are frustrating. Most of the papers I read were fine, but some of them are real gems. I can't understand how muddle people's thoughts can be. I honestly think some of my free writes are more organized then what I read. I don't know what's going on with people. Anyway, school is almost done for the year and I really need a break. I need to stop and really think about what I want to do. There's still so much to do. I feel like I'm sort of drowning a bit. I know I'm not, because I know what it's like when it is worse. Everything seem so much easier after I have hit bottom. I have that "could be worse" attitude.

I don't really want to leave the job I have right now. But I'm also not too keen on some of the many changes also. I think I need to make some hard choices fairly soon. The last few weeks have been pretty demoralizing at work. I'm tired of fighting about my schedule. I'm tired of people taking my work for granted. I'm doing things at work that's not even part of my job and they are some how expected of me. Even worse, they don't give me the time and resource to do it. I do wonder about why I'm still there and not look for something better. I think I'm too comfortable.