This and That

I forgot my wallet this morning. Technically about 20 minutes ago. I know it is currently in my purse, on my desk. And I can care less. This is one of those mornings. I just don't much care. I have a midterm in a little less then an hour and I think I will do pretty well on it. I have been hearing people complaining about how hard their midterms are and they freak out over it. To me, they are no big deal. I have accepted the fact that they are going to suck. And I'm ok with that. There are so many more things to worry about in my life. It's not worth it for me to freak out over things that are just passing. So that's my thing about midterms.

With that I do admit that I have been slacking off again. My room is messy again due to my weekend project, and I'm a bit behind on my homework. I haven't even been playing games lately. I have mostly been trying to catch up on sleep. I slept well for like two nights. Last night I fell asleep almost immediately. But dreams, they kill me. I agree that dreams are deep rooted in the subconscious, and I guess that's my problem. It's not something I can just will away, because I know I don't want to. At first I was frustrated that I can't get what I want, now I'm frustrated that I can't just stop myself from wanting it. I guess I will be this way for a while. It is not my nature to just let go. I also know the pain of hanging on. I know if I get what I want now it will lead me back to that place again. I don't want him to experience the intense pain I have gone through on my account.

I watched "Sex, Lies,and Videotape" the other night. I'm wondering if I am starting to structure my life like Graham. Probably not on purpose. Good movie nonetheless.

I was semi-athletic yesterday. I spent part of my day by the pool, caught some sun, and I went bowling. The whole poolside thing was nice. I managed to get a couple of laps in before the ducks decided the pool belonged to them. It was nice to just lay out in the sun. Bask and read I say. I have been in a much better mood lately due to all the sun. I even got myself a new bathing suit yesterday. Now I just need to tone and really fit in it. It really isn't that hard to do when I put my mind into it.