looking ahead

I suppose this is the point in my life when I get all philosophical about life and such. I am officially finished with my last regular class, my finals are on Friday, Monday and two on Wednesday. Then I'm done. And I mean done, with school, for now at least. I don't know if I will go back to school, but I do want to go back eventually to just finish up my CS degree. I was so close. But for now, I'm looking at my final week in school. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

I don't really have a prospect in work yet. I've been sort of looking and throwing my resume in a few directions. I haven't had any call backs yet. I not really hold out much hope for some of them, but it doesn't hurt to try.

I feel like I should have some plans for the future now that I have the time for it. It's like starting a new chapter in my life. I know I drone on about it. I don't really feel too different about it, but I really should. It is a huge change. Moving from one major phase in my life into the next. The next leg is going to be long but I will have more control. It feels strange to know that.

I know I should feel a lot more excited about it, but I don't. I just can't wait to get it over with and move on. I think to a degree I have let other people to dictate my life for far too long. I don't do the things I really want to do because of influence from others. It's a sad existence. I am not here to enjoy myself, but rather to please others. I know I do it whether I like it or not. I'm trying to change it.