consume

I woke up this morning with the urge to be very philosophical. Then I was totally consumed by the fact that I finally have the chance to shop at H&M. Vanity is great. It keeps me from thinking too hard. At any rate, I found that when I write in the morning I'm often way too depressing anyway. I'm glad I spared myself of that.

I still don't have a real plan for new years. Sitting around just doing nothing would be pretty good. Considering I will be working new years eve and new years day. Thank goodness I have a pretty big block of time in between those two shifts. I actually have the option of going out to do stuff. Not like I ever do anyhow.

The last few days had been pretty long for me. But I guess I asked for it. I'm happy to know that my bills will be paid. Perhaps I should put that one down as my number one resolution, spend less... way less.

It's been a few months. But it still feels strange not to have a warm body to hold on to when I wake up in the morning. It's funny how I have felt lonely long before that has occurred. It's depressing. To feel so alone. I guess having somebody physically there is something to be used to. To not to be there emotionally is just heart breaking. But I'm greedy, I want it all. Maybe I thought if the physical part is there, then the emotional part will come naturally. I suppose it was not to be so. I guess it doesn't go both ways, so I learned the hard way.

I think on some level I'm waiting for my prince to sweep me off my feet. But that's a bit hard when nobody sees me as a princess in need. So be it.... I'll be alone, with my most fulfilling days behind me.

Hey look, my writing turned depressing anyway. I guess the time of day doesn't matter.