bored to bits....

I feel really guilty when I chill out by myself in my room when the folks are home. So I hung out in the livingroom for the last oh.... 3-4 hours. I'm bored. I watched TV. It was ok. Nothing intereting.

In my half asleep state after school today, I went to JoAnn's and got some stuff there. Some eyelets, a setter, the Pieces of Me and Spring Fun sets from K.I. I'm done shopping for now. I need to stop anyway. I'm going to be out of credits until next Wednesday. It's not like I can buy anymore. I have enough things to last me a few months. If i feel like going out to get things... just sit down and crank a few pages out. Simple as that. I've spent an insane amount of money on this. Enough for now. Nothing more until I get the camera and all the stuff. Next things will be stamps and the Cricut. Done done done. *slaps hand*

I'm staring at my list of pages. Don't feel particularly creative right now. Maybe it's because I'm tired as hell.

I'm working on the side bar on this blog. Apparently when they changed to the new blogger they went ahead and changed the tamplate system too. Damn me and knowing how to use html. Now I have to break them up and put it in their system so I can archive it. *sigh* I'm down to all the scrapbook stuff and all my lists. We shall see.

So my spring break just started. Working all weekend. Fun. Sort of wish I have my camera already. I want to get out and go take pictures. The weather has been so nice on some days I just want to stay out. It was so nice I almost ditched my last class today. I really don't know what is wrong with me on that one. I was half way to the parking structure, then I stopped, turned around, and headed to class. Good thing I did, because we were talking about game theory today. But by the time that was done, there was a bit of overcast again. All I wanted to do today was to home and sleep. Then what did I do? Go buy more stuff. And I've been staying up. I'm bored.

I still haven't decided on where to get the zoom lens. I had my coworker put the last one in the back of the lock up case. I still don't know if I want to pay close to $200 for it. And the other thing is, I don't know if I just want to use my RZ certificates to get it. I will have more then enough points after next week. So that's not a problem. But do I want to bank it up for my monitor? I'm not sure. Dillemma. At any rate, I still have to get the fish eye lens from eBay anyway. The question is, do I want to get a zoom lens from there too.

Did I mention my room is clean? It just feels weird. I have this urge to trash it. Well I still have stuff I need to put away. I don't know. Maybe I'm keeping everything too much in order. I'm too used to organized chaos. Everything is so organized I'm almost afraid to touch it. Plus I can't seem to find things I used to know where they were. It seems logical where to put them. But when I need it, it's not where I thought it is. It's annoying actually. I need to use my things. What is the point of putting everything in order so I can easily find and use them if I don't use it. Seriously.

I realize I get addicted to things pretty easily. Flavor of the month. I do these things to distract myself I think. I want to focus on something. I want to do well in it. It's things just all for myself, nobody else. Maybe I'm still in search of that thing I want to be passionate about. I don't know what it can be. I think I have a vague idea of what I want to be when I grow up. I want to run my own business, be unique, and be creative. Unfortunatly I'm not very well developed in the creativity department. If you give me stuff I can slap them together and make them pretty. I can't come up with things out of nowhere... but I can appreciate things when I see them. Feels like I should own some sort of crafty boutique or something. There is definately a market for it. For people like me.

I have so many ideas floating in my head. Sometimes I feel like I'm being trapped in my own head. I want to let it out. I have this need to create. I am really really excited about the camera. I've always wanted something I can use to capture the way I see the world. I want to share it. I want to capture it. Pictures with a point and shoot camera is so unforgiving. With what I'm getting I feel like I can capture only the things I choose to include, or to exclude.

I just want to appreciate the little things.