random qoutes i have collected over the years...

(from an actual instant messenger log)

SCOTT: I probably won't have much else to do.
SCOTT: Consider this:
SCOTT: I've got a PlayStation with about seven games.
SCOTT: A SNES with 15-20.
SCOTT: Quake III, and an SNES emulator on my computer.
SCOTT: So what am I doing?
SCOTT: Playing solitaire.

PHIL: I have a playstation (only 2 games, but both well worth it), an SNES with about 10-15 games, an N64 with a couple of games, a Game Boy with about 10-15 games, countless abbandonware games on my computer, a game boy emulator, an SNES emulator, a genesis emulator, and a GI Joe over there ------> And I'm watching public television because the girl playing the piano has neat shoes.
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Your mother was a Hamster and your father smells of Elderberries. The Black Knight ALWAYS truimphs. Supreme executive power is derived from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
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Please call me the MINUTE you start selling Anti-Grav boots. This is VERY important as I need to be able to levitate as soon as possible. Thank you.
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A man goes to the Doctor with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear.
"That looks nasty," says the doctor.
"Nasty?!?" replies the man, "this is just the tip of the iceberg."
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A moose once bit my sister.
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What would Brian Boitano do?
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"Hey! Who posted the comment that "Coral, when painted brown and attached to the head with common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer."

That's a Kurt Cobain quote!

Wow! I've discovered another geek Nirvana fan! I just don't know who they are. "

You idiot, that was Jack Handy from Saturday Night Live.
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Now my geeky friends think I'm the coolest guy in our little corner of the high school. The only problem about that corner is the fact that I make it smell bad.
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"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

-Albert Einstein-
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Who's Peer & why did he reset my connection?
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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, I had this whole woodchuck lumber company planned out, and I'd captured a whole bunch of woodchucks, all in tiny little iron shackles, just ready to start cutting down trees and chucking all that wood into a truck, when PETA came and shut down my operation. I guess we'll never know.
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I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
Sleep all night and work all day
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Some may say I'm insane.

That's what the alarm clock said, and we all know what happened to HIM.
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i run in circles on a daily basis.
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Roast Lamb Shank with Balsamic Vinagrette dressing:

4-6 lb Lamb Shank with bone in ( stop giggling )
1 Whole Garlic
1/2 Stick butter ( optional- but, what the hell.. )
1 Lemon / Lemon concentrate
Salt & Pepper
Balsamic vinegar
Virgin ( ha! ) Olive oil
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Use paring knife and poke many holes in lamb shank to the bone. slice cloves of garlic into wedges, push into holes.( use at least 1 whole garlic clove )

coat shank with 1/2 stick butter, squeeze juice of one lemon ( or use concentrate ) liberally over shank, salt & pepper shank with style.( not flair,_ style_ )

Roast in preheated oven @ 325 deg. for 35 minutes per lb.. Check with meat thermometer, center should be medium / medium- rare. ( hint- touching the bone with the thermometer will result in skewed readings <- Bad Thing tm )

Remove lamb from oven and allow to set 10 minutes before carving. ( really. 10 minutes )

Drizzle lamb slices with balsamic vinagrette dressing ( 1/3 balsamic vinegar 2/3 Olive oil )

Serves one. ( okay. Four if you share... )
Alternate ending : Remove roast 1/2 way done, finish as per above on BBQ grill over mesquite coals... watch for flames, lamb is very rich ( it's got a LOTTA fat in it) and you want to put a drip pan under the shank, surround pan by coals, do NOT put shank directly over coals. Otherwise you get a blackened, charred lump of inedible lamb roast and no dinner....great pyrotechnics though... if you aren't a BBQ god- don't try this.

Alternate alternate ending- same as above but substitute dried grape vines for mesquite charcaol . Or use regular charcoal and add dried grape vine clippings soaked in water.

let me know how you liked it.

cmauricio@arrk.com
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48.6% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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If swimming is so good for your figure, then how the hell do you explain whales?
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icky icky poo ding zap
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Have you noticed that if you take Windows ME, NT, and CE, and arrange them in a certain order you get Windows CEMENT.......coincidence, i think not!!!!
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The people responsible for the titles have been sacked.
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Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
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"They have the internet on computers now?!" -Homer J Simpson
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A wise man once said, "There are no wise men, you fool! Leave me alone."
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And one time, at Sys Admin camp...
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Ok, so this grass hopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper looks at him and says "You've got a drink namd Bob?"
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DARN IT.
I was supposed to be upgrading the kernal on our server but NoOoOoOo! I got distracted by thinkgeek's random quote page and kept hitting F5 over and over and over and over and over and over for 45 minutes.

By phb came in and said "What are you doing?" I said "waiting for /dev/zero to be copied into /dev/storage (which is a symbolic link to /dev/null) so I can finish upgrading the kernal." He said I was doing a good job. I agreed. Anyway, I think I should go finish the kernal upgrade I started a week ago, I checked the logs and he was moving files into /dev/storage. I asked "WTF?" and he said he wanted his files protected during the upgrade too. I almost felt bad, then he asks how to get our reviews out of /dev/storage since he couldn't seem to read the directory. I told him I'd look into it. I must make up a clever scheme to cover for this funny blunder. Damn morons taking initiative.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho - its off to drop the harddrive down the stairs I go.
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You thinking what i'm thinking pinky?

i think so brain, but you wear the pink tutu this time
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The best acceleration you can get on a mac is 9.8 m/s^2
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"Is is just me or does the new cauldron look like a giant flaming blunt?"
- me, during opening ceremonies of the 2004 olympics
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"I am not gonna eat shit just because they stop making chocolate!"
- regarding crappy mmorpgs
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I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. 'You don't have to tell me,' I said. 'I'm off the team, aren't I?' 'Well,' said Coach, 'you were never really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet, You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.' It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something was brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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So there I was. Naked. In a refrigerator. Smoking a cigarette. With a potroast on my knees. That's when it got REALLY weird.
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Why does everybody say it's the quiet ones you need to look out for? I'm worried about that very pissed and very loud man in the middle of the street with a chainsaw and a shotgun.
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It's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions, but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways only because of their race, you become separatist, and being a separatist sucks ass.
- Kyle Broslofski
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It's not the voices in my head that bother me. It's the voices in YOUR head that bother me! ***************************************************
It does not make sense. Chewbacca was a 6 foot tall wookie, and he lived on Endor with a bunch of 3 foot ewoks. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit.
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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
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Somewhere, there is a very fat and very naked hairy man jumping up and down in the shower singing a country song. Think about that the next time you ask to be omniscient.
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Who here believes in Telekinesis, RAISE MY HAND!!
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