karma karma

6/12/2006

karma karma

I'm starting to think it is mostly an attitude thing. The way I treat every situation determines my experience and the outcome. This theory applies to pretty much everything I do. I don't think there is any one defining moment or thing that makes me think of that.

Take school for example. If I never thought it a waste of my time I wouldn't still be in it. A bit ironic I think. I enjoy learning, it's the process I find to be dumb. Nothing I can do about it. Guess I'll have to stop fighting it. Be mediocre and sink to the middle of class isn't that bad I guess. I just despise stupid people. There, I think I turned into my uncle. Long story....

Relationship wise I don't think I have any prospects at the moment. A little while back I was trying to figure out why I want to be with a certain individual. Was it for the relationship or for the person. I can say clearly now it was for the person. But I guess that's besides the point. It is probably not the biggest disaster in the world to not have somebody. I think I would have been perfectly fine if my friend doesn't constantly bitch about how he doesn't have someone. If he misses that person who dumped him almost a year ago, just frigging go slash the tires and get it over with. He's starting to get on my nerve on that. You just have to move on at some point.

I'm running into a bit of a health problem right now. Hopefully it will fix itself. I really don't feel like going to the doctor. I have had a friend being hospitalized for these symptoms, and I don't want to do that any time soon.

I have been pretty stressed out lately. I shut down completely when that happens. It's quite inconvinence really. It's hard to get myself going again. I will be glad when this is over. I looked at myself at the mirror this morning and there is not a lot of life in my eyes. I'm turning into some kind of zombie.