Physically....

I made myself feel physically sick today. I think it was a combination of things. It could be whatever I ate, it could be all this uneasy feeling I've been having, or maybe it's because I looked him in the eyes for the first time in a very long time. I got physically sick. I got dizzy and puked. I'm storing all the stress in my back. I want to get so plastered that I won't know what day it is. It's nice not to have responsibility and desire. I need to be hating something right now.